Wednesday, 19 December 2012

The ranking of Survivor seasons *updated with S25*


1. PEARL ISLANDS - The perfect Survivor season. Memorable, larger-than-life characters like Rupert and Jonny Fairplay, unpredictable boot order and an Outcast twist that, whilst unfair, added lots of new dimensions to the season.

2. COOK ISLANDS - In a word, epic. To watch 20 people in 4 tribes battle it out to get down to 1 was a great journey, particularly once the Aitu Four staged their amazing comeback. Yul was a likeable and worthy winner, and Cao Boi was amusing.

3. HEROES VS VILLAINS - A fanboy’s wet dream. Pitting so many big characters against each other was sure to guarantee explosive confrontations and memorable moments, and it did not disappoint.

4. MICRONESIA - A great concept, but the Fans tribe was laughably bad. After that initial mismatch, the game changed and one of the most successful and ruthless alliances of all time (the all-female Black Widow Brigade) emerged. Cue blindsides galore and memorably stupid moments like Jason’s stick and Erik giving up immunity.

5. CHINA - Beautiful location, inventive and unique challenges, and one of the best casts ever (even Chicken is memorable) make it another great season. Todd is one of the few strategists to backstab and still win. The James blindside was great.

6. VANUATU - Chris had one of the best winner’s stories ever, to come back after being outnumbered by 6 women. This season also introduces the adorably paranoid Eliza. Underrated.

7. NICARAGUA - Fabio is one of the most likeable winners ever. Constantly unpredictable, there were many memorable moments, from fiery tribal councils to a double quit, and great characters like Marty and Brenda.

8. PHILIPPINES - The three tribe twist worked fantastically well, all the returnees delivered and we got a season that was always interesting, from the decimation of Matsing to the chaotic post-merge.

9. PALAU - Despite no original gimmick, still ends up being one of the most unique seasons as one tribe decimated the other. Thus, it was a season of two halves. Stephenie emerged as a true hero.

10. SAMOA - Russell was the star of the show, but a lot of the rest of the cast left a lot to be desired.

11. TOCANTINS - Coach’s crazy antics were the highlight of the season. He was a joy to watch, you never knew what he’d do next. Credit to runner-up Stephen Fishbach, an expert strategist overshadowed by the charming J.T.

12. ALL STARS - Probably the most drama-filled season of all. The competition was dominated by Boston Rob physically and tactically, and he left a lot of people angry and bitter. Amber and Rob also gave us the first on-screen Survivor romance.

13. EXILE ISLAND - Worth watching for Shane alone. But this season also contained Terry’s amazing immunity run and competition with Aras, and the evolution of Cirie, now one of Survivor’s best ever players.

14. GUATEMALA - Physical, brutal season with some great confrontations (Jamie vs. Bobby Jon, Judd vs. everyone), but a lacklustre winner keeps it in the bottom half.

15. GABON - Probably the most personal and nastiest season, the personal grudges and Randy’s intense dislike of everyone and everything was awesome. But at least a good guy won in the end. It also had one of the worst tribes ever, Fang, and one of the show’s biggest surprises, Sugar.

16. AMAZON - Cesternino’s wit made this worth watching and kept the power shifts interesting. Jenna and Heidi add eye candy. However, the cast in general wasn’t the best.

17. ONE WORLD - Kim's a great player but not great TV, and the season didn't have as many shake-ups as it should've done given the twist. The cast was decent, but not amazing. Colton created more awkwardness than entertainment.

18. FIJI - Easily the worst twist, but the Dreamz car deal and the fall of the four horsemen were both memorable moments. Earl, Yau Man and Michelle were all cool characters.

19. SOUTH PACIFIC - So many of the previous seasons problems flared up again, and in many cases even worse. I rate it slightly higher because it had one of the most realistic casts for years, an exciting and evenly-matched pre-merge and because Coach is still cool even as a gamebot.

20. REDEMPTION ISLAND - Started strong, but too many big characters getting voted out early lead to one of the most predictable and one-sided seasons ever. The Redemption Island twist failed, as did the "Rob vs Russell" twist. No season that introduced the craziness of Phillip could ever be a total loss, though.

21. AUSTRALIA - The first ever evacuation, a handful of memorable characters like Jerri and Colby, and an unexpected winner makes this one of the best of the early seasons of Survivor.

22. BORNEO - The season that started it all. It’s interesting to see the birth of the show’s gameplay and pioneer Richard Hatch in action, but it’s also frustratingly slow in places and hadn’t quite reached its potential yet.

23. AFRICA - The best thing about Africa was Lex. Ethan was a likeable winner, but had it far too easy. There was the first and best tribe swap, and a look at the community outside of the game.

24. MARQUESAS - Most boring cast/winner ever. Boston Rob was the only person worth rooting for and even he was at his worst. The best thing this season gave us was the coconut chop challenge, now a staple of the show.

25. THAILAND - Was a drag to get through at times. Shii Ann was one of the few redeeming qualities. However, Brian Heidik is pretty much the perfect Survivor player.

Monday, 17 December 2012

Philippines Episode 14: Unfinished Business

Pick your winner

Mike and Denise are happy that Abi's negative influence is gone, but Malcolm is not happy about being called out as the biggest threat again. Skupin thinks he has the story to beat Malcolm, but I'm not sure he's right. The tree mail for the next challenge is ambiguous as to whether it's a reward or immunity. Denise just doesn't want to get voted out, like she's scared she will be.

The reward challenge is part obstacle course, part dragon puzzle. Denise and Skupin take a lead on the first part, as Lisa trying to climb over the poles hinders her and Malcolm falls in a pit in his overeagerness. Skupin struggles on the puzzle though, and it ends up being between Malcolm and Denise. Malcolm wins reward and gains an advantage in the next immunity challenge.

Awful, or awesome?
Back at camp, an exhausted Lisa talks about how Malcolm didn't even need an advantage - he's already on a streak, having won the last two. Denise goes to the well with Malcolm to try and work out a final 3 deal but Malcolm is hesitant. Denise knows that's not a good sign, given how hard Malcolm planned for a final 6 and final 4, so decides to talk to Lisa about voting out Malcolm. Mike thinks Denise is a bigger threat, though.

Denise regales some Kalabaw tales
The final 4 pay respects to their fallen comrades, talking of how Zane was hilarious and Angie was underestimated. "All she wanted was cookies". Russell feels humiliated by his Survivor experience, and RC gets lots of slow-motion boob bounces. Skupin calls Penner out as the biggest jury threat...so at least he has some awareness.

Malcolm knows he dropped the ball
We arrive at the final challenge, and it requires a steady hand. They have to balance a ball on a piece of wood using only handles to keep it up. Due to his advantage he won at the reward, Malcolm gets two shots at it. However, it is Malcolm who drops first, and then soon begins struggling again. Amazingly, immunity king Malcolm is the first out of the challenge, advantage and all. Then Denise loses her ball right before the end of the round and it's down to Mike and Lisa. Mike wins the final immunity challenge and gets very emotional at the thought that he's managed to finally complete his Survivor journey....something he failed to do 12 years ago.

Malcolm blames his nerves for the challenge loss, but still checks in with Mike and Lisa to make sure he's not going home. Denise tells them she's writing down Malcolm's name 100% but Mike decides to steal Coach's shtick and talk about taking the best to the end. "Would there be any honor in beating Lisa and you?" he tells Denise. Puh-lease dude, you're not even gonna beat Denise, let alone Malcolm. And so the four go to tribal council with Mike's mind still not made up, but Lisa is very clear - Malcolm needs to go.

At tribal council, Probst tries to suss out who has the tighter relationship between the Tandangs and the Matsings. Denise says they'd been close until now but it's time for that to change, whilst Lisa points out she hasn't always voted the same way as Mike. When Lisa then admits she has no reason to take Malcolm to the end, Malcolm looks shell-shocked and quickly scrambles to try and make Denise out to be the bigger threat. It's to no avail though, as by the time he casts his vote, he knows he is done. And after he walks away, congratulating Denise, he is furious. I feel bad for him, he was so close.

Even though she liked Malcolm and had a great alliance with him, there's a part of Denise that just wants to gloat that she beat him. The final three watch the sunrise together the next morning and toast over the feast. They all agree that it's still anyone's game.
It all ends tonight

Time to get to final tribal, then. Denise is giving no apologies and wants the jury to know she beat them, but also praises her adaptability. Lisa admits her game was a mess, and Skupin talks about how he had to shake off the returning player stigma and played so hard he still has glass in his face.

Penner's monologue is worthy of Shakespeare
Artis starts us off, saying he hates everyone...classic Artis! Carter is a much nicer presence. Lisa tells Pete she didn't know Artis was going home, and Mike tells RC the same thing. Lisa denies Jeff Kent's accusations that she floated in the middle, and Denise has to apologize to Abi for disrespecting her - I thought she said no apologies? Penner gives the epic finishing speech as you'd expect, calling Denise a bitch, outing Lisa as a TV star, and even making a very theatric ox/chariot analogy.

That was an interesting tribal council in that the vote could've gone either way. And indeed, for the first time since China, all three finalists get a vote - RC votes for Lisa, Penner votes for Denise and Carter votes for Skupin. But when Jeff reads the votes out back at the studio, turns out it's not as close as it looked. Denise wins Philippines by a 6-1-1 margin.

STAR OF THE WEEK: DENISE STAPLEY
Denise is what Stephenie LaGrossa wishes she could be. A scrappy underdog and a true survivor who made it through every single tribal intact, an unprecedented achievement. Her blunt approach to the final tribal council is not something that's easy to pull off, but her intelligence, articulation and people skills served her well.


Reunion recap:

  • I wasn't surprised Lisa won Fan Favorite, I was surprised it was so close. Lisa's built-in fanbase pre-show meant her win was never in doubt for me.
  • Wasn't it cool how everyone got to speak for once? That hasn't happened in quite a while.
  • Malcolm stuttering when Probst asked him if he'd play again was a little suspicious.
  • Fans Vs Favorites? Well it's not getting points for originality, but it was a pretty cool concept that deserves re-visiting.  Let's hope the fans don't suck this time. Bring on Caramoan!

Thursday, 13 December 2012

Philippines Episode 13: Swimming With Sharks

Abi thanks the tribe for letting her stay. She mentions her idol bluff as a possible reason. Bless her for thinking that had any impact on her staying. The rest of them are feeling a little bit of remorse for voting out overall good guy Carter, especially Lisa, but she's got her head in the game now and wants to win...something that Malcolm has definitely noticed and is keenly aware of.

Abi is targeting Denise hard, and goes up to Lisa, telling her that she's "4th for sure" in their alliance. Despite all their history, Lisa is still willing to consider Abi as an option going forward. She's useful to her one way or another, either as a great final three partner or a potential jury vote.

Probst explains the challenge - it's going over a pyramid, gathering rings and throwing them. The winner gets to choose two people to join them on a boat. At final five, that's a great opportunity to secure yourself a spot at the end. It's a really fun challenge, which Skupin takes an early lead in. Malcolm tries to catch up with him on the toss section, but Skupin doesn't let up. It soon comes down to either Skupin or Malcolm with one ring left, and Skupin scores it first. Jeff tells him a chopper's gonna come and take him in. "Remember my last chopper ride?" Skupin says, referencing his medevac. Jeff assures him this one will be a much better experience. So his first pick to accompany him is Malcolm, as he still feels indebted to him for choosing him for the last reward. Lisa is his next pick but he does offer all his food rations back at camp to Denise, which is a nice gesture.

The odd couple
Denise and Abi are back at camp, plotting the demise of the other three. Abi moans about not being picked. She doesn't really understand why she's not the swing vote. Denise is just trying to make it through the day. The afternoon is just as torturous for Denise as it looks.


On the boat, Skupin is fooling around on a sugar high, showing a fun side Malcolm has never seen before. The three of them get the opportunity to swim with a shark.
Skupin is the Captain of the ship
Real live sharks! Skupin even headbutts one. It's an amazing moment, but not the reason they're there. So Malcolm brings the talk back to the game and offers the other two a final 3 deal, because he knows that Denise is his biggest threat. The two of them agree to it, but Lisa isn't really sure about it.



Next morning, Denise wakes up in very bad shape, saying her neck feels like it's "on fire". It's probably a bite and allergic reaction, but there's so many animals that could be the culprit - spiders, snakes, lizards. She wants to just suck it up as there's only three days left. Lisa and Mike pray for her. Abi doesn't feel bad, though. Shocker!
My money's on the scorpion

The immunity challenge involves crossing a bridge with limited planks, then constructing a ball maze. It starts off pretty close but then Malcolm falls off and has to go back to the start. That's setting him back a long way as everyone is over the bridge now and working on building the maze. Lisa, Mike and Abi are not doing well. Denise's looks right, but it's not. Malcolm comes back into it and really flies through it, pulling off an unlikely victory.

Who would you rather face?
Abi is unhappy because she's probably going home. She talks to Mike and tries to get them to take her to the final 3, citing Denise and Malcolm's underdog story as making them unbeatable. It sounds like the perfect plan, but Mike is worried that if they vote out Denise, Malcolm wins the next immunity. Lisa realises it's a trade-off...will they take the easier opponent or just be satisfied with a higher chance of making it to the end? Malcolm is stupidly confident that the two of them will hold true as he's not even considering giving Denise his idol, he wants to keep it as a souvenir.

At tribal council, Probst lets Abi make a case for being the best opponent to have in the final 3, and whilst Denise doesn't dispute that, she says that's not necessarily the way she would want to play the game. She says Abi has been lucky to make it this far, although Lisa takes exception to her saying Tandang avoiding tribal council was luck - it was because they kicked ass! Abi calls Mike a moron and tells him despite what the thinks, he has no chance of winning. Ouch, Abi is really feisty tonight! "The only difference between me and Denise is I'm here for a million dollars and she's here to make friends" says Abi. Denise disputes this, to put it mildly.

Skupin does his happy dance
So with the vote between Abi and Denise, it seems Skupin and Lisa end up taking the easy option and vote out Abi, ensuring that they lose the game. Good job! Abi goes off to face the wrath of RC in the jury house and we're left with one question left unresolved - which Matsing will have the honour of beating the Christian brigade? Malcolm or Denise? Find out in the finale!


STAR OF THE WEEK: MIKE SKUPIN
Despite what I just said, I think Skupin has played a pretty good game overall. He's not gonna win and seems kinda deluded about that, but he's set himself up perfectly time after time to control the votes so at least it's him who decides who does. He was such a goofy, fun presence in this episode and a great challenge win also proves he's managing to keep up with the younger ones.

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Philippines Episode 12: That's My Boy

Abi snuggles up to Carter and asks him how he feels about being one of the two on the outside, but Carter doesn't want to talk game. Lisa is worried Penner is right and that Malcolm is gonna win but she still wants to play a clean Christian game. As an aside, how cool was the shot of the batcave at the start? Christian Bale, be jealous.

So here we are at the loved ones visit. Skupin gets to see his son first and is so ecstatic he almost jumps out of his skin. Carter also gets to see his youthful-looking mom and uncharacteristically breaks down. Denise's husband Brad also comes out. Lisa is an absolute wreck when she sees her brother. Abi's mom comes out and despite speaking no English, is really sweet and adorable - the polar opposite of her daughter, really. Malcolm's brother Miles is last, who is also a huge fan of the show.

I didn't know Susie Smith was on this season

Frebergs for the win!
Let's get down to the challenge - the survivors have to toss a beanbag to their loved one, who will throw it to knock down skittles. Miles and Brad are the first to score. Carter's mom puts in a good effort and so does Mike's son with a great comeback, but it ends with Miles snatching it and winning the reward challenge for Malcolm. And in celebration, they almost crash into eachother again. Malcolm gets to pick two people to take their loved ones back to camp along with him. I totally thought he was gonna pick Denise, but instead he picks Lisa and Skupin. A strategic decision, because he wants to keep them close as allies.

Backseat driver: Justice is blind...siding Malcolm
Miles starts cracking jokes around camp, and Malcolm is a little worried his airhead brother might inadvertently cost him a million dollars. Elsewhere, Skupin's son proves to be a chip off the old block and gets injured climbing a tree. Lisa's brother, who is awesomely named Justice, helps her get her head back in the game. And it looks like Malcolm may come to regret choosing Lisa after Justice suggests that Lisa should vote out Malcolm, even claiming he might be the type of player to respect that. Other than the obvious reasons, it must be nice to have a loved one in camp to give you someone to bounce ideas off. Lisa decides to pray and asks God to decide.

Probst yells at Abi to "pick it up"
Skupin and Lisa turn up at the immunity challenge wearing the clothes of their loved ones. It's a water-based challenge. Skupin is the first one across to the platform but is a little slow taking his bags, allowing Carter to take the lead. Abi falls way behind and gets yelled at by Jeff. It comes down to Malcolm or Carter. Who will construct their pole first? After several close calls, it's Malcolm, who win his first immunity challenge. Lisa is annoyed that her plan has been foiled but oh well, must've been God's will.

Look behind you
Malcolm and Mike discuss the possibility of voting Carter. The blonde kid even walks up to them as they do it and they admit to it, but it doesn't really seem to phase him. Abi is still being a bitch at camp, and Malcolm says if she does get voted out, that'll be the only reason for it.

At tribal council, Carter gets his first-ever question from Jeff! His response is that he feels like he's deserving to stay in the game, a point Denise had brought up a few episodes ago. Abi is still pretending she has an immunity idol, but Denise calls BS on it. Asked if Abi can win this game, Denise replies that she doesn't think she can. Ah doy.

It's time to vote, and the two potential targets, Carter and Abi, vote for eachother. It ends with Carter going, which...meh, no real loss. Next episode may be Mike and Lisa's last chance to block a Denise or Malcolm victory. Can they pull it off?

STAR OF THE WEEK: MALCOLM FREBERG
For taking emotion out of the game, making smart strategic decisions, plus his two challenge wins in one episode. Between earning the necklace and his idol, Malcolm is sailing to final four and is still the favorite to win the game.