The ranking of Survivor seasons *updated with s34*

This twist-heavy season lived up to its name, trying a lot of interesting new things. Some people were bummed that so many big names went early and we were left with mostly B-listers at the end, but better than them not being on the season at all. At the end of the day though, it feels like more of a collection of moments (some of which were very good, don't get me wrong) rather than a coherent whole.

1. Pearl Islands
2. Cook Islands
3. Heroes Vs Villains
4. Micronesia
5. China
6. Cagayan
7. Kaoh Rong
8. Vanuatu
9. Nicaragua
10. Philippines
11. Millennials Vs Gen X
12. Cambodia
13. Palau
14. Caramoan
15. Blood Vs Water
16. Game Changers
17. Worlds Apart
18. Samoa
19. Tocantins
20. All Stars
21. Exile Island
22. Guatemala
23. Gabon
24. San Juan Del Sur
25. Amazon
26. One World
27. Fiji
28. South Pacific
29. Redemption Island
30. Australia
31. Borneo
32. Africa
33. Marquesas
34. Thailand

Game Changers Episode 12: Smooth Criminal

Tai facing heat

We arrive at the finale with a recap of the journey that got us here and a quick reminder of how many advantages and idols are still in play...should be an explosive night, then. Sarah questions Cirie about who the "rat" was, and she names Tai. Tai confesses he did say Sarah's name, and now she's mad at him instead. His game blown up, Tai tries to earn some goodwill by letting Brad know that he has two idols...but Brad isn't sure he trusts him.

The immunity challenge is a giant maze with bags of puzzle pieces hidden inside that the contestants have to grab and bring back to complete a compass puzzle. They split off into two groups to navigate the maze, with Tai following Brad and both taking hard falls. Troyzan is in the lead but drops his bag off at the wrong station. Brad begins the puzzle first, with Aubry next. Brad is almost done but then sees he has pieces missing. He gets it in the end, winning immunity again. And it's a much more humble celebration this time.

In a tight spot

Brad gets to pick people for a reward dinner, and chooses Troyzan and Sarah. Together they discuss putting votes on Aubry and Tai, to make sure they get Tai's idol. Brad goes to Tai and tells him to play one idol, but also makes a demand for him to give him one. Tai is pretty hesitant to do so, and doesn't like Brad's attitude. Cirie and Aubry both make a case for him to vote with him, but Tai breaks down, knowing he has no real friends.

At tribal council, Aubry compares the post-tribal talk to a therapy session. Tai is mad that he's the bad guy when he's only done what everybody else has done. Sarah denies that the three people who ate together are an alliance and claims it's everybody against Tai. Brad gives a warning for people not to make deals with Tai.

Enjoying the show

After the vote, Tai stands up and plays both idols...one for himself, and one for Aubry. Sarah then decides to play her legacy advantage, making her immune too. Troyzan then gets up as well to play HIS idol, and the jury are going wild at this point. With 5 people immune, Cirie is now out by default...no need to even read the votes. This is an extraordinary way for a legend to go out, and Probst even notes this himself.

The final five now face an immunity challenge that involves transporting balls across a course using paddles. Sarah gets the furthest on it, but then drops. Brad manages to get a ball across whilst everyone else struggles. Soon, everyone else is just watching Brad take home an easy win...the NFL guy has immunity again.

Brad calls this the easiest vote of the season, expecting Aubry to go. Aubry makes her pitch to Sarah and Tai that they need to vote Troyzan out, since him and Brad are tight. Brad basically berates Tai into voting for Aubry, which once again he doesn't appreciate.

Coming up just short again

At tribal council, Troyzan talks about how he thought he would be good at challenges but Brad is blowing him out the water. Aubry, feeling on the outs, reiterates her pitch. Sarah takes it on board but isn't sure that their incentives line up. Probst asks who is concerned that there might be players left that they can't beat, and only Troyzan says he's confident he can beat anybody, which is hilarious. Aubry is voted out, but she seems kinda happy to be on the jury, and plans to give the remaining players a real roasting.

Probst almost gets drenched

For the final immunity challenge, there's a slide they have to go down, a climbing frame they have to climb to get bags of puzzle pieces from, and a lighthouse puzzle to complete. Sarah gets the early lead, until Brad overtakes her when she gets stuck on her third lock. The puzzle then comes together for Brad very quickly, with only Tai particularly close. Brad marks his 5th win of the season, tying the record.

Brad is relaxing now that he's secured his spot at the end, and thinks he has the whole game in the bag. Now he has it out for Tai because of personal reasons, even wanting to blindside him just for fun. Tai tries to convince Sarah to force a tie and make fire. Sarah isn't sure she wants to do that, because she doesn't quite know how to read Tai's chances with the jury.

At tribal council, Tai and Sarah know they're on the block, but Tai makes the case for them to join forces since there must be part of her that's unsure about how they're voting, Brad says that Tai has no leverage, and Tai confronts him about talking to him like a child. Troyzan is surprised to hear it might be a tie, but is ready to make fire if he needs to. Tai is voted out though, hugging Troyzan and thanking Jeff on the way out. For someone who gets quite a bit of shit for his gameplay, he ended up pretty close to winning.

Troyzan says he's fulfilling a dream by making day 39, and talks up his social game that got him to the end. Sarah says she worked her ass off and made moves. Brad openly admits that he's not nervous about what's to come, thinking his immunity wins and aggressive style will speak for itself.

It's good to be the king

At tribal council, Jeff recaps the numerous records broken in this crazy season, and then decides to debut a new format for the jury questioning. It's now more of an open discussion with Jeff leading the way. This feels like a direct response to him not getting the winner he wanted in Kaoh Rong...I guess Michele is the real game changer.

The first topic is who outwitted. Zeke decides to be Sarah's champion and points out how brilliant a move it was to get Sierra to give her the legacy advantage despite voting her out. Andrea says she feels pretty disgusted at the way Sarah abused her personal relationships, and the jury greets her with uproarious laughter when she tries to say they were real. Ozzy gives Brad props for being a challenge dominator, and nominates himself as his champion.

Cirie tells Brad and Troyzan she thinks Sierra was the brains of their operation, but Brad counters that getting J.T. to spill the beans during the Malcolm vote was a key move of his doing. Michaela tells Brad she thinks he didn't make personal relationships. Sarah, who has the opposite problem, defends her dirty gameplay by comparing it to being an undercover cop. Troyzan gets a question for the first time when Michaela asks him what he did. Ozzy is unconvinced by his answer and calls him a passenger, whereas Aubry calls him "Sandra without the sass". Sierra defends her alliance partner a bit though, and says he did have a role in the decision making.

Tai wants to know from Brad why he was a jerk to him and Brad says he was playing the game. Hali then asks him to clarify if condescension was his strategy, which he denies. Zeke calls Sarah the main driver of the game. Moving on to the outplay portion, Brad is declared the clear winner, but Sarah points out that would be expected from a former athlete, and reveals how she got the secret advantage.

Nice to see them go back to a final 2 this year

For their closing arguments, Brad points out that you can play without lying and that he won his way to the end when he needed to. Sarah tells the jury she had to strike at them before they beat her and reminds them that she was the only one in on every vote. Troyzan pretty much knows he has no shot, so just thanks them for being part of his dream.

Time to vote, for the final time! Zeke and Michaela give Sarah their vote along with props for her impressive showing, whilst Debbie and Ozzy are both team Brad. We switch to the studio, where Jeff starts reading them out. It looks like a fairly close vote for once, with 3 votes for Brad and 7 for Sarah. The criminal makes off with the cash!

STAR OF THE WEEK: SARAH LACINA

She might not have been considered one of the headliners when the season was first announced, but she played a strong game that can measure up to anyone's. Flipping from side to side, lying like crazy...clearly she learned some things from her Cops R Us buddy Tony.

Reunion notes:

• As much as I hate the hypothetical votes Probst always does - and clearly Brad hated it too - it was worth it to finally solve the mystery of what happens in an FTC tie.
• Malcolm sure is a good sport about his elimination.
• Varner getting to plug his book was disgusting...I immediately regret any benefit of the doubt I ever gave him.
• Heroes Vs Healers Vs Hustlers is a bottom-of-the-barrel theme and a really awkward title...but as I've said many times before, none of that matters if the cast is good. Turtleneck guy is my instant favorite.

Game Changers Episode 11: Always Read The Fine Print

Aubry and Andrea talk about the looks Sarah was giving Sierra at tribal council, thinking she was pandering for a jury vote. But actually she was trying to get an advantage, which she did. Now Andrea is going for Sarah, and Sarah is going for Andrea.

Winning immunity, and possibly a date

The first immunity challenge is to build a house of cards whilst steadying your platform with a handle. Aubry goes to the top quickly, and is hoping to impress the last winner of this comp, Cochran. Andrea and Michaela close in on her, but both drop their stack. Troyzan drops his going after a fallen piece. Aubry runs into another problem when she doesn't have enough cards to reach the top. But she manages to rebuild quickly enough and wins immunity.

Aubry wants Brad out over Troyzan, and Michaela is helping make sure that happens by babysitting Brad and telling him to go fish. Brad doesn't like being blackmailed and reacts badly. Andrea tests the water for a Sarah vote, but when Cirie and Aubry don't bite, she drops it. Sarah and Cirie are talking about taking Andrea out instead, thinking she's a bigger threat than Brad.

At tribal council, Sarah says there's no reason not to stick with what's working for her. Troyzan mentions talking to the people on the bottom. Cirie says there was an eerie quiet back at camp, whilst Andrea wonders why people weren't trying harder. Sarah says she thinks this jury will respect good gameplay, whilst Aubry reminds everyone that people aren't robots.

Tickle fight

Brad votes Andrea for the third time now, and this time, he's successful. Andrea is sad to be blindsided again, as she thought she was playing much better this time. So this is how her story ends, then. I suppose it was inevitable, but man, she deserved better.

Aubry is also crying back at camp since she was left out of the loop. Tai decides to comfort her, but Cirie has noticed this and sees them as a pair.

Kick for immunity

For this immunity challenge, they have to fill up a chute full of water to release a key, then solve a puzzle back on land. Cirie has problems with the first part - not just with the water, but with heights too. Michaela gets to the puzzle first, but there's a few people not far behind. Tai almost solves it but has a gap at the bottom. Brad has the same problem. Michaela gets all of hers to fit, but the image looks wrong. Brad gets it correct and wins immunity. He mouths off after his win, clearly frustrated at being targeted so much.

Tai and Aubry talk about getting Sarah out, since Tai wants a big move to show the jury. Aubry doesn't trust Tai and lets Cirie know his plan...but problems arise when Sarah decides to believe Tai over Aubry. Sarah gives Cire her advantage as a sign of trust, confident the vote is going her way. But Cirie is considering playing it to save Sarah's ass. She doesn't want this to cause any idols to be played though, so Cirie goes to Tai and let him know she's going to use the advantage to save him...when she's actually using it to save Sarah. Wow, there's a lot of layers here. Cirie is truly slick if she can pull this off.

The master manipulator

At tribal council, Sarah talks about how she's had to sift through a lot of lies over the afternoon, with Cirie predicting that this vote will show the deception. Tai is asked for his take, and he says he likes to give people the benefit of the doubt. Troyzan is hopeful he can get through the vote and be in a good position.

A custody battle ensues

Before they vote, Cirie tries to play the vote stealer and steal Sarah's vote. But Sarah objects and claims that only she can use it. Jeff makes Cirie read out the instructions, and the words "non-transferable" makes the host rule in Sarah's favour. Sarah takes the advantage back and whispers something to Tai. Cirie tries to explain to Sarah that she's still on her side, but more and more huddles start happening and now it's completely up in the air. Sarah decides to use the advantage and steal Tai's vote.

The votes are cast, and Tai chooses not to play an idol, which seems crazy to me when he was just stopped from voting. He sees his name come up, but the majority falls on...Michaela!? Not really sure why, and neither is she. I guess this is Sarah taking an indirect shot at Cirie? One episode left and things have just got crazy again.

STAR OF THE WEEK: CIRIE FIELDS

Whilst she made a pretty big blunder in not reading the rules, Cirie is really bringing out the game changer inside herself with a risky, ambitious play like that. I never would've expected Cirie to make it to finale night, but she did, and it's been a priviledge to watch.

Game Changers Episode 10: Baton Pass

Although it should be good news for Brad and Sierra's side that none of them went home, the fact that three of them voted for Tai means that he's probably not going to be a part of that group anymore. Sierra, feeling desperate, comes clean to Sarah about holding the legacy advantage. It's a big gamble but it appears to pay off, as now the cop wants to keep her over Brad.

Even Michaela has a heart

Jeff tells the contestants they get to see their loved ones, and they all start sobbing. Sarah most of all, whose husband has been home alone taking care of their baby. Then Andrea's mom comes out and talks about how she lost her sister at a young age. We see Troyzan's brother, Michaela's mom, Aubry's sister, Tai's boyfriend Mark (for a split second I thought the chicken was coming out). Sierra's dad returns, as does Monica Culpepper. Last up is Cirie's son Jared, who graduated high school whilst his mom was on the island.

To win their loved ones, they're divided into three teams. Then they have to make it under a crawl, under a log, then untangle ropes to get a key. The key unlocks a box of sandbags that they use to knock down targets. Brad/Aubry/Andrea seems to be the only team getting it together...Cirie and Tai are slow to get off the floor and Sierra's long legs get stuck under the beam. It ends up being a non-contest in the end, especially once Brad gets on the throwing. Now getting to choose two people to share the reward with, they pick Cirie and Sarah. Michaela is pissed, and her mom has to calm her down.

The BvW power couple that could've been

Back at camp, Monica is giving Brad some pointers on what his next move should be. The veteran tells him to pull in Michaela, since she might feel left out now. Michaela talks to Tai and tells him the opportunity to make a move is there. They also get together with Troyzan and Sierra, and discuss getting rid of Andrea.

Culpepper coming up clutch

The immunity challenge is to hold up a ball with two sticks. Aubry is out first, with Sierra next. Andrea follows, which makes Sierra happy, and then it's Sarah. Cirie drops it but hey, she did much better than usual. It's soon down to Michaela, Brad and Tai. Michaela drops, Tai follows and Brad wins immunity. Right when he needed it.

The giant lays low

Since they can't get Brad, Andrea and Aubry agree that his sidekick Sierra needs to go instead. Michaela however is convincing Sierra that Andrea is actually going as long as she doesn't do anything stupid. Sierra lets slip to Sarah that she might have Michaela's vote, so Sarah goes to Michaela and convinces her to flip back by letting her know about the legacy advantage. Yep, Sarah wants it for herself, and she might just get it.

At tribal council, Andrea talks about how hard of a decision they had in picking loved ones, whilst Jeff reminds Aubry that sometimes emotions drive this game. Sierra tries to convince them that she's not the biggest threat. Michaela talks about how a "we" can flip around to a "me" when the time is right. Sierra and Andrea are well aware that one of them is being lied to, and are ready to find out who.

Played like a fiddle

The vote is between the two blondes, and it's Sierra that ends up leaving. Now the question is, who will she give the legacy advantage to? She keeps her word and passes it onto Sarah...I guess not realizing she was the main one that screwed her over. Well then, the moral of the story here is: don't give people an incentive to vote you out.

STAR OF THE WEEK: SARAH LACINA

Sarah effectively picked Sierra's pocket and managed to get her out without making her mad. This is slick social game and jury management - let's see if she can keep it up.

Game Changers Episode 9: Live By The Sword, Die By The Sword

Sarah ends the silence back at camp by confessing that she flipped, and is hoping she's finally getting credit for being a game changer. Cirie is happy that their side claimed a victory, but is not getting complacent at all.

Even puzzle-solving looks epic in a montage

The reward challenge is the one from last season where they're hoisted up in a pulley to pull out numbered tiles and then use them to solve a puzzle, with an additional net climb. They're playing for a meal at an overnight resort, but the real prize for most of them is the chance to sleep in a real bed for a change. We end with up with Andrea, Sarah, Aubry, Zeke and Brad vs Sarah, Troyzan, Tai, Michaela and Sierra. Michaela is making up for missing out on that last reward by zipping past Brad, although Brad's team has more success on the pulley. Andrea vs Troyzan is equally close, so then it falls to Sarah vs Sierra, where blue once again do much better. It comes down to the puzzle, and both teams are tossing a lot of ideas around, but Andrea's suggestion of "Reinventing" leads to blue getting it.

Drinks are on me

At the reward, Brad and Zeke bond over football, which concerns Andrea because Brad should be the odd man out. Back at camp, Andrea suggests to Cirie they could vote out Zeke next and still maintain their numbers. But when she takes it to Sarah, the cop shoots it down....and reveals her advantage to keep Cirie comfortable. Zeke and Sarah do some scheming of their own, where Zeke proposes a final 5 with Brad and Troyzan, telling them that after one more vote, it's gonna get interesting.

The immunity challenge is stacking dominos whilst being careful to not knock your grid. Everyone for the most part does a great job of keeping theirs up, with only Brad knocking his down. Sarah, Andrea and Michaela do it the fastest, with Sierra not far behind. Andrea gets to the end, but has to re-space hers when she has too much room. Andrea wins immunity again...which is likely just increasing the target on her back.

Space changer

Sierra's walk of shame

Now that Andrea is safe, she and Cirie decide to push harder to get Zeke out. Sierra feels the most in danger, but promises to vote whatever way the girls say. Aubry seems fine with the new plan, but Michaela is less sure - saying it's scary to put themselves in a position where it only takes one to flip. Sarah doesn't want to do it either, but doesn't want to press the issue.

At tribal council, Jeff gets Sarah to confirm that she was the one who flipped, causing Debbie to flip her the bird. Tai is nervous for the first time ever in this game, and Sierra shares the sentiment. Andrea talks about how this season is all about trying out new alliances and seeing which one fits, Zeke claims it's too early to make a move...so you know it's the truth if he's saying it!

Is this a "bit"?

The vote looks like it's gonna be a close one between Sierra and Tai...until a bunch of Zeke votes come out, catching both Zeke and the other side off-guard. Michaela is bawling...wow, I didn't know they were so close. Zeke seems to take it well, and even acknowledges it was a good move for Andrea since he was coming after her. The episode ends with Hali whispering "game changers" and Debbie replying "idiots." I'll leave it to you to decide which one you agree with.

STAR OF THE WEEK: ANDREA BOEHLKE

Andrea isn't really someone that immediately comes to mind when you think Survivor legends, but she's managed to rack up a pretty impressive resume across her three seasons now. She's made it to 100 days, tied the record for most immunity wins for a female, and was able to get out a threat before they got her.