One World in one word

What can first impressions tell you? Not much, considering last season I thought Cochran was going to be good and Sophie wasn't. But here they are anyway:


MANONO TRIBE (MEN)

BILL (The comedian)

"I've physically put myself to the test and have been put to the test more than most."
He's the new: Sean Rector
One word: Funny

COLTON (The homosexual)

"If I'm still in the game when they stab me in the back, I will definitely get even. I can be your best friend, but also your worst nightmare."
He's the new: John Cochran
One word: Whiny

GREG (The plastic surgeon)

"There's nothing that can pertube me. I'm fine with just about anything you can dream of."
He's the new: Rupert Boneham
One word: Crazy

JAY (The model)

"I'm not the macho man trying to walk around and dominate everybody, I'm just chill, down-to-Earth, loving."
He's the new: Brendan Synnott
One word: Overrated

JONAS (The sushi chef)

"I think being a sushi chef - it's not real threatening. Like if I'd said I was an Olympic triathlete or whatever, that might be a little intimidating"
He's the new: Bruce Kanegai
One word: Likeable

LEIF (The little person)

"I think my fellow castmates will definitely underestimate me, and that's when they're in trouble. They won't even know what hit 'em."
He's the new: Chad Crittenden
One word: Underdog

MATT (The Lawyer)

"I wanna be remembered as the nice guy that got along with people that would cut your throat the minute he needed to."
He's the new: Albert Destrade
One word: Boring

MICHAEL (The banker)

"The number one thing I'll do is just get all the women on my side."
He's the new: Marcus Lehman
One word: Jerk

TROYZAN (The photographer)

"I'm pretty funny. I like to goof around a lot. I'll probably do some tribal dances around the fire."
He's the new: Benjamin Wade
One word: Epic


SALANI TRIBE (WOMEN)


ALICIA (The Latina)

"I think I know how to manipulate men really well. Homeboys tell me they fall in love with me way too quickly."
She's the new: Stephanie Valencia
One word: Feisty

CHELSEA (The country girl)

"I just like to have fun. I figure the harder you work, the harder you can play."
She's the new: Whitney Duncan
One word: Hot

CHRISTINA (The businesswoman)

"I'm not your quintessential Asian girl. I'm not too serious, I'm silly, I'm sassy."
She's the new: Edna Ma
One word: Goofy

KAT (The blonde cutie)

"I'm really friendly, I'm a big family person. I love adventure."
She's the new: Andrea Boehlke
One word: Sweet

KIM (The hippie lady)

"I'm really quirky. I love to tell people what animal they look like, and sometimes that doesn't go over well."
She's the new: Sarita White
One word: Laid-back

KOURTNEY (The rebel)

"I'm a mechanic. I'm covered in grease all the time, so I don't feel very girly"
She's the new: Jessica Smith
One word: Fodder

MONICA (The cougar)

"Whatever it is you need, I wear the hat. I can be Florence Nightingale if you need me to be."
She's the new: Kristina Kell
One word: Confident

NINA (The cop)

"It's never too late to chase your dreams and live outside your comfort zone."
She's the new: Jill Behm
One word: Tough

SABRINA (The teacher)

"I'm here to bring harmony to the camp, bring some kind of entertainment - but don't let it fool you, I'm also a competitor."
She's the new: Francesca Hogi
One word: Snarky


PRE-SEASON WINNERS PICK, IN ONE WORD: Jonas

Hottest Survivor girls

With the news that One World will be split into men vs women I decided it's time to get superficial and dedicate a post to the most attractive ladies to ever play the game. With 23 seasons to choose from, you better believe there were some hard cuts. But here's what I came up with:

15. Candice Woodcock (Cook Islands)

Probably the most conventionally attractive girl on the list, but attractive she is. It's not just her smile and pretty face that makes her stand out, but she has a great bikini body too. You can see what Billy Garcia saw in her.

14. Darrah Johnson (Pearl Islands)

She's not really conventionally attractive and I can't understand half of the words she says, but there's something about her, and her body looked great in the bathing scene.

13. Cecila Mansilla (Cook Islands)

Such a cutie. It's been far too long since we've had a smoking hot latina on the show. Hopefully next season will deliver!

12. Elyse Umemoto (South Pacific)

Her Pocahontas looks, cutesy demeanor and rocking body get her on this list. Which shouldn't be any surprise, given she's won titles for her beauty. Part-Japanese, part-Latina and part-Native American indian, it's a perfect combination that makes her a cocktail of hotness.

11. Erinn Lobdell (Tocantins)

She has a geeky appeal in-game working the glasses, but out of the game it will amaze you how beautiful she is. For being the master of two different looks, Erinn deserves a spot.

10. Ashley Trainer (Samoa)

I had two very good reasons for putting Ashley on this list. But she has a very pretty face too which is often overlooked in favour of her glorious rack.

9. Mikayla Wingle (South Pacific)

Another South Pacific hottie that left early. Brandon may not have loved you, but I do. All that working out playing lingerie football has definitely paid off and given her a very athletic body. The above photo isn't the only time she's ditched the bra either, so be sure check out her Playboy shoot.

8. Jenna Morasca (Amazon)

An old-school babe that can still hold her own with the new breed. Luckily for us, she isn't shy about showing off her body. Not only did she strip for chocolate and peanut butter on the show, she also bared all for Playboy alongside her buddy Heidi.

7. Natalie Tenerelli (Redemption Island)

I have a love/hate relationship with Miss Tenerelli. As much as her gameplay sucked on Redemption Island, there's no denying she's adorably cute. She has the best ass on the show hands down - and can do the splits!

6. Michelle Yi (Fiji)

This Asian pixie is so, so cute. She was a ray of sunshine on her season and a real treat for the eyes. So sweet. So innocent. So undeserving of my impure thoughts.

5. Amanda Kimmel (China)

Maybe the most "beautiful" on the list. She was a pageant winner, after all! The Survivor three-timer is blessed with a pretty face and has a gorgeous body as well. Was a serious contender for #1, but I knocked her down a bit as she does have her plain moments.

4. Monica Padilla (Samoa)

Monica rocks that purple bikini like no other and her exotic beauty combined with a great body gets her top 5.

3. Stephanie Valencia (Redemption Island)

The bias towards recent seasons is not intentional, so much as expected. Survivor girls are getting prettier. Stephanie may come in a little package but she's a feisty firecracker with a great ass.

2. Parvati Shallow (Cook Islands)

Parvati once again overshadows Amanda as well as mini-Parvati Steph, and there's just something about her that oozes sexiness. It's not just her looks that make her a Survivor legend, but her charming persona. Such a seductress, she can make any man fall in love with her.

1. Brenda Lowe (Nicaragua)

This stunning bi-racial beauty takes genetic make-up from a diverse range of hotness and is pretty much the perfect woman. Part of what contributes to her placement is her confidence and flirtatious nature - she's irresistible!

The ranking of Survivor seasons *updated with S23*

1. PEARL ISLANDS - The perfect Survivor season. Memorable, larger-than-life characters like Rupert and Jonny Fairplay, unpredictable boot order and an Outcast twist that, whilst unfair, added lots of new dimensions to the season.

2. COOK ISLANDS - In a word, epic. To watch 20 people in 4 tribes battle it out to get down to 1 was a great journey, particularly once the Aitu Four staged their amazing comeback. Yul was a likeable and worthy winner, and Cao Boi was amusing.

3. HEROES VS VILLAINS - A fanboy’s wet dream. Pitting so many big characters against each other was sure to guarantee explosive confrontations and memorable moments, and it did not disappoint.

4. MICRONESIA - A great concept, but the Fans tribe was laughably bad. After that initial mismatch, the game changed and one of the most successful and ruthless alliances of all time (the all-female Black Widow Brigade) emerged. Cue blindsides galore and memorably stupid moments like Jason’s stick and Erik giving up immunity.

4. MICRONESIA - A great concept, but the Fan’s tribe was laughably bad. After that initial mismatch, the game changed and one of the most successful and ruthless alliances of all time (the all-female Black Widow Brigade) emerged. Cue blindsides galore and memorably stupid moments like Jason’s stick and Erik giving up immunity.

5. CHINA - Beautiful location, inventive and unique challenges, and one of the best casts ever (even Chicken is memorable) make it another great season. Todd is one of the few strategists to backstab and still win. The James blindside was great.

6. VANUATU - Chris had one of the best winner’s stories ever, to come back after being outnumbered by 6 women. This season also introduces the adorably paranoid Eliza. Underrated.

7. NICARAGUA - Fabio is one of the most likeable winners ever. Constantly unpredictable, there were many memorable moments, from fiery tribal councils to a double quit, and great characters like Marty and Brenda.

8. PALAU - Despite no original gimmick, still ends up being one of the most unique seasons as one tribe decimated the other. Thus, it was a season of two halves. Stephenie emerged as a true hero.

9. SAMOA - Russell was the star of the show, but a lot of the rest of the cast left a lot to be desired.

10. TOCANTINS - Coach’s crazy antics were the highlight of the season. He was a joy to watch, you never knew what he’d do next. Credit to runner-up Stephen Fishbach, an expert strategist overshadowed by the charming J.T.

11. ALL STARS - Probably the most drama-filled season of all. The competition was dominated by Boston Rob physically and tactically, and he left a lot of people angry and bitter. Amber and Rob also gave us the first on-screen Survivor romance.

12. EXILE ISLAND - Worth watching for Shane alone. But this season also contained Terry’s amazing immunity run and competition with Aras, and the evolution of Cirie, now one of Survivor’s best ever players.

13. GUATEMALA - Physical, brutal season with some great confrontations (Jamie vs. Bobby Jon, Judd vs. everyone), but a lacklustre winner keeps it in the bottom half.

14. GABON - Probably the most personal and nastiest season, the personal grudges and Randy’s intense dislike of everyone and everything was awesome. But at least a good guy won in the end. It also had one of the worst tribes ever, Fang, and one of the show’s biggest surprises, Sugar.

15. AMAZON - Cesternino’s wit made this worth watching and kept the power shifts interesting. Jenna and Heidi add eye candy. However, the cast in general wasn’t the best.

16. FIJI - Easily the worst twist, but the Dreamz car deal and the fall of the four horsemen were both memorable moments. Earl, Yau Man and Michelle were all cool characters.

17. SOUTH PACIFIC - So many of the previous seasons problems flared up again, and in many cases even worse. I rate it slightly higher because it had one of the most realistic casts for years, an exciting and evenly-matched pre-merge and because Coach is still cool even as a gamebot.

18. REDEMPTION ISLAND - Started strong, but too many big characters getting voted out early lead to one of the most predictable and one-sided seasons ever. The Redemption Island twist failed, as did the "Rob vs Russell" twist. No season that introduced the craziness of Phillip could ever be a total loss, though.

19. AUSTRALIA - The first ever evacuation, a handful of memorable characters like Jerri and Colby, and an unexpected winner makes this one of the best of the early seasons of Survivor.

20. BORNEO - The season that started it all. It’s interesting to see the birth of the show’s gameplay and pioneer Richard Hatch in action, but it’s also frustratingly slow in places and hadn’t quite reached its potential yet.

21. AFRICA - The best thing about Africa was Lex. Ethan was a likeable winner, but had it far too easy. There was the first and best tribe swap, and a look at the community outside of the game.

22. MARQUESAS - Most boring cast/winner ever. Boston Rob was the only person worth rooting for and even he was at his worst. The best thing this season gave us was the coconut chop challenge, now a staple of the show.

23. THAILAND - Was a drag to get through at times. Shii Ann was one of the few redeeming qualities. However, Brian Heidik is pretty much the perfect Survivor player.

South Pacific Episode 14: Three Times A Lady

This is it! It all ends tonight! We start on Redemption, with Brandon's entrance. Ozzy's sympathy for Brandon evaporates when he finds out he gave up immunity. "He's trying to play a game of faith, when he's playing with human beings that are greedy and all want that money". Perfect quote to set the tone for the rest of the episode. Back at camp, Sophie loves that Albert looked bad in front of the jury for not giving the necklace back. Coach snaps at Albert for trying to bullshit him.

Well, it was a hell of a ride, Brandon

The last duel begins. Brandon and Ozzy simply have to hang onto a pole for as long as they can to get back in the game. Brandon puts in a mammoth effort but an unbelievably focused Ozzy outlasts yet another competitor. Brandon is jubilant in defeat, because he feels he's won the game of life.

Coach still claims he wants to take Ozzy to the end, but Ozzy doesn't buy it. Ozzy then says he wants to take Coach to the end. I love the way he phrased that, haha. Albert is confident one of the four of them will defeat Ozzy in the next challenge. Let's see if he's right....

The challenge is a crazy one, involving building a stack one-handed. Sophie looks to have a secure tower, but runs out of tiles. Coach comes close, but his stack falls. Ozzy voluntarily dismantles his stack to try a new strategy. Sophie drops her stack and tries to get Albert to drop his and pick hers up. It comes down to Ozzy and Coach. Ozzy calmly does it and wins immunity.

The run continues

Ecstatic at being safe, Ozzy tries to stir shit up at camp. Coach and Albert think Rick is the obvious choice, not just because he sucks at challenges, but because he could actually win. Hard to believe based on screentime, but he's actually quite likable, works hard, and has ruffled the fewest feathers. Ozzy has a different target in mind...Sophie, who he calls a spoiled brat.

Rick is really nervous that he's going out, so tries to get Coach's loyalty. Coach chooses his words very carefully, but tells Rick he won't vote him out. Ozzy tells Albert that Coach gave him his word that he wanted to take him to the final three. Albert quizzes Coach about it, thinking it's ridiculous - yet when Coach doesn't say no, you can tell he remembered Coach is ridiculous. Oh man, and Coach accuses Albert of not understanding the jury?

Why did I ever trust that wacko?

It was funny to see the jury all smile at Ozzy having the necklace. You can tell they loved it. Rick pleads his case at tribal, knowing it is weak. Ozzy and Sophie go at it about the personal attacks they've made at eachother. Sophie is actually reduced to tears right before the vote. Rick is voted out, and rolls his eyes. No Redemption for you! Coach tries to hug Rick, but Rick tells him to have a seat. I think that's the third time Coach has been snubbed for a hug. A pissed-off Rick says he wishes he'd made a bigger move (or...any move?), but he trusted Coach, and Ozzy has his vote.

Ozzy isn't sharing his coconuts, but Sophie won't mind as she's not giving Ozzy any plaintains either. Coach feels betrayed by Ozzy, as he told him to keep that conversation confidential. Ozzy says he didn't trust Coach because of how burned he was by this game last time he played, which touches Coach.

The final four arrive at the last immunity challenge...Ozzy says he's been waiting 38 days for it. He gets off to the best start. In fact, Albert and Sophie are constantly getting in eachother's way and Coach is doing a barrel roll for no reason. Ozzy's got this. He retrieves his fifth bag and has a huge lead. Coach, Sophie and Albert arrive at the table in that order. Ozzy gets stuck on the puzzle, whilst Sophie moves through it very quickly. Ozzy can feel his million dollars slipping away as he hears the last three words he wanted to hear...Sophie wins immunity.

Coach transfers his power

So the three Upolu members are celebrating together pretty openly, having finally defeated their enemy. Coach tells Sophie she's the new dragonslayer, as Ozzy was this season's dragon. Ozzy's last play is to appeal to Coach's need to see who is the more deserving, and force a tiebreaker. Albert's not that worried, but it is Coach...

A legend says Sayanara to Survivor

At tribal council, Rick and Brandon are shooting daggers from the jury. Ozzy talks about his million dollar puzzle and how it'll haunt him for the rest of his life. Then he throws Coach under the bus, but he does not budge, and Ozzy's torch is snuffed for the third time. It's a fitting end to his Survivor career, and he even gets a standing ovation from the jury.

The final three tuck in to the big breakfast on day 39. It's funny, Albert is confident about his chances (he shouldn't be!) whilst even his two remaining allies still think he got lucky to make it this far. All three reflect on what they've learned, and Coach does his final tai chi session.

The final three stay strong after a tough tribal

The final three arrive at the end of the road: final tribal council. Ozzy, wearing pigtails, warms them up by saying the jury doesn't want to vote for any of them. Jim asks Albert why the other two shouldn't win, and Albert immediately breaks his "no compliments" rule. Coach apologises to Rick, who is the most bitter so far. Brandon forgives Coach for his betrayal. Albert then fumbles Brandon's question when he refuses to give a yes or no answer to whether he knew if Brandon was getting voted out the night he gave up his necklace. Whitney calls Albert sleazy and disingenuous and Sophie condescending. Both of them were clearly caught off-guard by the level of hate and Sophie starts breaking down again, like she vowed not to. Edna has no questions, just a statement. Keith asks about the idol, allowing Sophie to mention how the idol was really discovered.

So there we go, a surprisingly great tribal council, with a very logical Sophie, very apologetic Coach and a very nervous Albert. Cochran is the first vote for Coach, saying he played an awesome game. Dawn votes for Sophie. The scene cuts back to L.A. and Jeff reveals the votes, and it's a 6-3 victory for Sophie.

STAR OF THE WEEK: SOPHIE CLARKE

On a night overshadowed by the returning player juggernauts of Ozzy and Coach saying goodbye, let's not forget that this girl just won a million bucks. She did it quietly but effectively, calling the shots from behind the scenes and had her finger on the pulse of the game the whole way.



Reunion show highlights:

• Coach's reaction to his votes coming up was awesome. He seemed to love this season.
• Ozzy ate up way too much airtime. That guy talks a lot.
• I really felt bad for Brandon when he said his family has basically disowned him. I bet he's a good kid at heart.
• I was excited at Probst complimenting Jim, but then by trashing his favorite Cochran he probably dashed his Allstars chances.
• Despite the awful name, I am so excited for One World. It looks like the perfect blend of old and new, and definitely a step in the right direction.

South Pacific Episode 13: Living On A Prayer

The final five are happy that their day one pact has come to fruition, but at the same time, Coach is wary that the real game starts right now. Albert pulls something from nowhere and claims he wants to blindside Sophie. Yeah, apparently she's the biggest jury threat right now.

Like Arnie, he will be back

The duel between Edna and Ozzy is a puzzle. Edna gets a lot of help from the crowd when Albert basically tells her how to do the first section. She begins stacking her blocks so that no vertical colours align, and she comes close, but is wrong. Ozzy takes his time and gets it right, staying on Redemption Island for the final duel. Just what will it take to get rid of him?

Brandon is deluded into thinking Albert and Coach will never write his name down. Meanwhile, Sophie and Coach talk about what a threat Ozzy poses. Sophie wants to send Brandon to battle Ozzy, calling them the two most dangerous players in the game.

Albert tries to plead with Coach to listen to him that Sophie is a threat. Brandon approaches in the middle of the conversation, and Coach snaps at him, comparing him to Russell in his bullying tactics. Brandon is offended (who wouldn't be?) and Coach apologizes and hugs it out. Then Brandon comes up behind him during a confessional about getting rid of him. Hilarious.

Guaranteed Final Four

The challenge involves grabbing bags of tiles off a wall, and finding which pairs don't match to get a combination for their wheel. Brandon and Rick lead the challenge. Albert has fallen behind the person he just called out as being terrible in challenges. Rick is stumped on the matching pairs part, so Brandon races off first with Coach behind him. Brandon wins immunity, which is what nobody wanted to hear. He picks Rick to share the pizza reward...why? Oh, who knows why Brandon does any of the things that he does. Back at camp, Coach pouts about the divine intervention that saved Brandon.

Can open, worms everywhere

The Pizza delivery guy comes on a jetski. Sophie goes over to the picnic to "smell the pizza", when it's really to ask the two of them to vote out Albert. Rick repeats what Albert said to him earlier about the two of them going to the end together, knowing it was bullshit. Brandon's eyes widen when he hears this.

With Albert's lies finally exposed, Brandon and Rick confront him directly and let it all out in the open as Albert is forced to try and dig himself out of his hole. Sophie is pretty much taunting Albert, saying "where's all your strategy now?".

Albert later tries to get Brandon back on his side, and Brandon tells him he's not voting for him. He then even says he'd give Albert immunity if he felt he was in trouble. He's made some pretty erratic moves this game, but this would top them all. Coach hears the plan and although he doesn't show it on the outside, it's clearly good news for his gameplan. But could he really take this opportunity and not look like a complete dick? He prays and asks God to decide what he should do.

Coach assumes the position

At tribal council, Jeff can barely even finish his first sentence when Brandon takes off the necklace and hands it to Albert. The jury are stunned, as they should be. Albert says he isn't giving the necklace back because he doesn't think Brandon is going to get voted out. Smart to keep immunity, even smarter to pass the buck to Coach. But Coach has an easy out himself, when he says God told him who to vote for, and Brandon appears to accept it.

Rick votes Brandon, labeling it a dumb move. Brandon and Albert vote Sophie, and
Sophie votes Brandon. Coach's vote comes up...and it's Brandon. Yep, Lil Hantz follows

"God did it" - excuse of crazy people everywhere

in the footsteps of Erik Reichenbach as the second person ever to give up immunity and get voted out. And everyone thought that would be a one-time only thing. When Brandon gets to Redemption Island, he doesn't really seem to care. I can't believe someone would throw away their game so easily. He better hope he wins his duel against Ozzy.

The repercussions of Brandon's move might say a lot in terms of Coach's chances of winning this game. Has the pendulum begun to swing to Sophie? We'll find out on Sunday!

STAR OF THE WEEK: ALBERT DESTRADE

With his villain edit on the rise, I'm glad there's someone there to play the game and not give a shit about honour and integrity. He appears to be the only one correctly assessing jury stock, but with people gunning for him now he may have to win immunities to get to the end. Or, alternately, have people hand it over to him again. I don't know what the hell he said to Brandon, but good job.

South Pacific Episode 12: Spit On A Million Dollars

Ozzy blatantly asking Cochran to vote for him was incredibly unsubtle. Cochran didn't like the assumption that he would lose, even though it's a fair assumption to make. "Do I have a chance against you in a duel?" Cochran asks. "You have a chance" says Ozzy. And then cut to confessional: "he really doesn't stand a chance." Probably the best editing jump they've ever done.

Edna is insulted that this guy dictates her fate

Edna skips out on the tribe prayer, upset at being at the bottom of the alliance. She has a little cry in private and whilst I feel for her, this isn't new news to her. She tries to push for Brandon to get the chop. Meanwhile, Brandon comes back with the Sprint phone from treemail, which makes Edna feel a bit better when she gets to see her sister. Rick's wife is also on there, Albert's mom and her thick Cuban accent, Coach's surprisingly normal-looking brother...and Brandon's dad, who seems nice, but don't be fooled - he is a Hantz!

At least Cochran made Ozzy nervous

Ozzy and Cochran get to the duel, which is a table maze puzzle. You'd think a smart guy like Cochran would do well here but remember that Ozzy is also good at puzzles - he won the hardest puzzle in the show's history back in Cook Islands. Cochran gets help from Albert and the rest of the tribe but it doesn't do him much good. Ozzy is much better with the grappling hook and gets all three of his bags before Cochran has his second. Ozzy takes it slow, knowing he has a nice lead. Cochran picks up the pace, snags his bags, and works quickly through the maze. Ozzy drops his ball twice, giving Cochran the chance to cause an upset. He doesn't and the two both reach the end at the same time...Ozzy gets it, and wins the duel! Cochran sure scared him though.

Cochran is still giddy as a schoolgirl as he burns his buff and walks out. Now, Ozzy gets to choose which people and their loved ones he gets to take back to Redemption Island. He picks Albert, Coach and Brandon.

Coach talks to Ozzy and tells him he wants to take Ozzy to the final three. Please don't let this be true. It's Coach's game to lose right now and he may continue to do that if he continues with his "take the best warriors to the end" bullshit.

Brandon's dad tries to knock some sense to him

Brandon's dad tries to give him advice, as he can see he's struggling with the game. He tries to snap him out of his setting a good example crap, and encourages him to play to win. "It's the Hantz way, baby". Sean uses another classic Hantz trick when he goes up to Coach and pushes for him to take Brandon to the end.

The immunity challenge takes place on a pineapple-shaped board. It involves stepping on tiles until you run out of room. Most of them crowd around the centre. Albert is out first, then Brandon, who for some reason finds it necessary to verbalise that his strategy was to stop Edna winning. Edna gets more and more frustrated every move, realizing that Coach has half the board spare and can't lose. Coach wins immunity.

Edna's last move

Rick isn't happy with Brandon, and Edna campaigns to get Brandon voted out. She then asks Coach for the idol, but he cannot comply as he thinks he would be voted out next if he did that. Then she tries to get votes from Sophie, the person who's stuck to her original gameplan to the letter, and Albert, the person who tried to get her out earlier. All are long shots, but Edna has to play every card she has left.

All smiles: still looking glam at tribal council

Edna tries to rile up Brandon at tribal council, and although he gets very sad, he actually keeps his cool. Edna uses the loyalty and integrity card against Coach and the jury roll their eyes at this. Brandon looked worried for a minute right before the votes are read, but he was never in any danger - everyone writes Edna's name down, even Coach.

I guess it's nice to see that a day one final 5 alliance managed to hold the whole way, but a string of predictable boots has sucked the life out of this season. Luckily, I have no idea who's going next episode.

STAR OF THE WEEK: JOHN COCHRAN

The most controversial player of the season and one that I have a lot of mixed feelings about. But he deserves credit this week for running Ozzy close, and I really felt his joy as he gave his final speech. "When you say come on in, guys...I'm one of the guys!"

South Pacific Episode 11: The Princess And The Frog

So, now that there's no more Savaii to vote out, Cochran is alarmed to find out he's going next. Really? Right now is time for him to prove his salt as a Survivor strategist, otherwise his move was for nothing, and only served to move him backwards in the hierarchy.

Dead man walking: Cochran's back to scrambling

Cochran is doing his thing, which is telling embarassing stories. He made a prank call to a girl and asked to swap sperm with her because he didn't really understand what sex was like back then. Back then? He also comments on how creepy the Upolu cult is, particularly Brandon's constant praying.



Cochran gives a speech about how Upolu owe him because they wouldn't be here without him. Sophie gives a great confessional in response: "I don't feel indebted to you. Screw you. You made a dumb move, you should've stuck with your tribe". Coach is actually considering switching the vote to Edna. Wow. Thank God Sophie has some sanity.

Almost a game-ending yawn for Dawn

The duel involves stacking plates. Not unfamiliar territory for a waiter and a mom of six, I'm sure. Dawn gives some great expressions as she wobbles and recovers, and it becomes apparent just how delicate it is. Dawn loses her pile first and lets out a curse word! I'm sure she'll be forgiven. If there was ever an appropriate time to swear, that was it. Whitney then follows, and the duel is over.

Dawn is crying throughout her final words, talking about how she's learned that anything is possible now that she's lived her dream. Dawn really did not want to get rid of her buff, but did it because she loves Jeff. Whitney is also crying, and she goes on her way to Ponderosa to be reunited with Keith. We then see more of Ozzy on his Redemption Island "home." OK, we get it, the dude can fish!

Edna tries to climb the ladder

Cochran is also going fishing, with Brandon. He takes one of the fish he caught and tries to take credit for it. Albert puts the fire out, which pisses off Edna. Rick is not an Albert fan either, and apparently calls him "Prince Albert", because he lies in the hammock doing nothing. Edna asks Coach if she's going next and he's straight up with her. She then says it's unacceptable that she's 6th. Credit where it's due, she is playing the game after all.

Target practice: Coach out in front for once?

Coach charges Cochran with some tai chi, hoping it'll improve his performance in the challenge. The challenge, by the way, is one of those second chances ones, where they have to throw a beanbag on a barrel (waitaminute, they never did that) and then use that dreaded slingshot which Coach scored zero with last time. Coach takes the lead in the challenge, and Cochran is somehow ahead of Rick. All that changes when the tai chi power wears off, and Rick books his place in the second round first, followed by Albert and Sophie. Rick takes down two targets first, but Albert comes from behind and wins the immunity. He gets to choose who gets the spa reward, and gives it to Coach (suckup) and Cochran. Intriguing.

Over the massage, Coach discusses the possibility of Cochran staying longer. Cochran wonders if Albert gave him the spa reward because he just wanted his jury vote, or because he still wanted to work with him. Lying about his birthday might've gained him some sympathy points, but not enough to keep him in the game. Albert tells Cochran he wants to keep him in the game longer than Rick, and is especially gung ho about it after finding out Rick has been calling him "Princess Albert". It's funny, because Albert never really struck me as an emotional player.

"Are you kidding me, Rick?" - Albert doesn't like being
insulted by someone he calls "as sharp as a bowling ball"

Coach says that he's the swingvote. He could make life so much easier for himself by keeping his goats around longer, but he's the sort of person that prides himself on having honor and integrity, which might force him to stick to his word. Edna is emotional at tribal council because she knows she's 6th. Why didn't she realise this earlier? Brandon is also emotional because he's struggling with the game, especially after Cochran bags on his lack of strategy and his open book nature. Jim's facial expressions from the jury are great here...still managing to be a star with no lines. The only person not really emotional is Sophie, who doesn't buckle under the pressure of Cochran asking what would happen if Edna won immunity, or when Jeff asks if anyone felt tribal council was revealing, where she just calmly and bluntly stated "no".

Edna and Cochran vote Rick. Cochran winces as his name comes up, wondering if he has miraculousy escaped the boot again...but alas, it is not to be. The other 5 votes are enough to send Cochran to Redemption Island, where he gets to play Ozzy at sports. "Just...take the steps" Jeff tells him. I find it hilarious they left that bit in.

So, Upolu used Cochran to get the numbers advantage and then discarded him when they no longer needed him. It should be clear to him now that his gamble was a poor one.

STAR OF THE WEEK: SOPHIE CLARKE

She's a no-nonsense, reasonable, logical girl and I admire her level head. She seems confident she's got this game under wraps....almost dangerously so.