San Juan Del Sur Episode 1: Fire And Blood

Will Natalie and Nadiya be #twinning by the end of the night?

Probst flies above the 9 pairs in a helicopter, as we get our first look at who can cut it and who can't. Perfect couple Jon and Jaclyn are the first we see in all their flawlessness. We then see Baylor and Missy, about to be attacked by monkeys. Drew and Alec start a fire and argue over who gets credit for it. Keith and Wes fail to get anything after breaking their flint. D'oh!

The couples all walk into the arena, where Jeff asks who was able to make fire, and Keith details his numerous blunders. He also gives Nadiya an opportunity to bury herself, but she doesn't take the bait. Nice try! The teams divide up into tribes from a "random" draw (yeah right, I'm sure it's coincidence they're already wearing their tribe colors) ahead of their first challenge.

All's fair in love and war

The reward challenge is a one-on-one duel to untangle hooks from a cube and use them to grab platforms and drag them back. Jeremy is chosen as the representative of the blue tribe and Probst tells him he's competing against his wife - funny, as they were trash-talking eachother just a few minutes ago. Jeremy has an easier time getting through the cube when Val can't jump quite as well. Val holds her own, but the firefighter pulls it out and wins the challenge. So now he has to deal with the guilt of sending his wife to Exile Island, but he does at least get to choose a partner for her...he picks Keith, saying he knows how to start fire (didn't he just prove the opposite?).

Hunahpu arrive back at camp, where Jeremy is hailed the hero for winning their loot, and is winning their sympathy as well. He starts building alliances quick, talking first of all to Kelley before bringing in Natalie and Missy too. On the other tribe, it's clear very quickly that Dale is the odd one out because of his age. But it's not all bad, as he goes to the well and finds an idol....like thing. He then breaks his glasses to try and start a fire, and manages to beat the young kids to the punch.

Dale, the instant outsider

Keith and Val are sent to Exile, where Keith bemoans missing out on the fun. When you think about it, it does seem unfair that the first Exile is practically a death sentence. The two of them pick urns in the hopes of an idol clue and Keith comes up the loser again. He gets some consolation when Val tells him that her husband is a firefighter like him, which might be something to use when he gets back to camp.

Sports star trying to keep his identity hidden?
That storyline's a little played out now

Drew is the shelter builder for Hunahpu, but Julie is unimpressed with his arrogance. And she knows arrogance - look who she's dating. Speak of the Devil, John appears to have been rumbled by sports fan Wes...his father pinned him earlier too, calling him an "ass". Wes sees it as a chance to bond, but John sees it as a liability and now wants him out. Josh is struggling with a rash on his eye, and suspects it is coming from the foliage on the shelter...forcing the whole tribe to take it apart and start again.

Jon has fun imitating the monkeys, entertaining the tribe with his goofball antics. But in confessional we see a more serious side as he talks about how his dad back home is dying. It's an oddly-timed scene that makes me think we might end up with a Jenna Morasca situation down the road.

Head and shoulders above the rest

The tribes arrive at the first immunity challenge which is to run under an obstacle, untie bags and make your way up three slopes to get to a Mayan calender puzzle at the top. The castaways all crawl under the course with Wes and Jon being the first ones out. Baylor collects the bags for Coyopa, whilst the other tribe split the work between Natalie, Julie and Kelley. John gives his tribe the lead by getting his rope hooked to climb the first slope, and the pegs prove no obstacle for the second. John also does most of the work in getting his tribe up the last section by acting as a human pyramid, and then it's on to the puzzle. Now the puzzle is a tricky motherfucker, where sometimes you can't tell you're wrong until you're on your last piece. Hunahpu get it first, sending Coyopa to tribal council.

Josh is already the go-to guy

Back at camp, Dale campaigns for Nadiya to get voted out, since she's already proved herself ruthless on The Amazing Race. Val is another early target, but leads the charge for a girls alliance that most seem on board for. With the girls targeting Dale and the guys targeting Nadiya, Josh ends up as the swing vote and Baylor is willing to tag along with him.

She survived the race, but this is a whole different ballgame

It's the first tribal council, and John talks about how there's not really an obvious "first boot". Josh is singled out as the man in power and Nadiya ends up offending him by comparing him to a girl. Big mistake! The vote is more split than usual, with even a Baylor vote thrown in there, but Nadiya does end up voted out. First boot once again! But fear not Nadiya fans, there's still another twinnie to go around.

STAR OF THE WEEK: JEREMY COLLINS

Likeable to his tribemates and to the audience as well, Jeremy has assumed the leadership position and it seems like he can pick and choose his options right now. You might just want to make it a little less obvious you're running the show though, buddy.

San Juan Del Sur cast assessment

Nine new pairs will take on eachother when season 29 starts next month in a slightly tweaked Blood vs Water format - Redemption Island is out, Exile Island is in. Here are my thoughts on the cast, and also predictions on who will be the standout player of each pair.

Drew & Alec - The surfer bros

Drew's biggest concern is missing out on some good waves. Um, okay then. Alec seems smarter and quieter than Drew. They're both physically strong enough to make the merge, but once they get there it does seem like they really do want to play individual games which is refreshing and should help them both. There's bickering between them but it's obviously playful.
The better half: Alec

Kelley & Dale - Farmer and his daughter

Dale immediately struck me as likeable, but he's already admitted he might not have much of a social game. It seems like he'll try to get by on hard work, which is possible, but he's already at a disadvantage due to his age. Kelley didn't say a lot of substance, but seems very level-headed.
The better half: Kelley

Missy & Baylor - The mom/daughter cheerleading combo

Missy has big ambitions for this season: to see her and her daughter in the final three. She claims they're an intimidating duo and I'd agree with that, although she's said she'd never vote her daughter out, so she does have a soft spot. Whilst Missy seems pretty young for her age, Baylor on the other hand seems to have maturity beyond her years.
The better half: Baylor

John & Julie - Baseball star and trophy wife

Based on his colorful comments, it seems likely John has been cast to be the instigator. But will he even care enough? He didn't seem that interested in his interview. Julie on the other hand is sassy, flirty and I appreciate whenever there's hot women older than 30 on the show. But it's hard to tell if she's the real deal or just putting on a front. Well, it's definitely clear she has a large front, yaknowwhatimean?
The better half: Julie

Wes & Keith - Father/son firefighters

Despite being supposedly from an outdoorsy family, latchkey kid Wes seems like he's gonna struggle under the pressure of Survivor...and I don't think he knows that yet. I didn't think much of Keith either. "We ain't really got a plan" he said...and it shows! I wouldn't be a bit surprised if these two are the first pair out.
The better half: Wes

Jeremy & Val - The black married couple

Survivor could've found the new Cirie in Val, and I think as long as she survives the first few rounds, she'll do well. I like what she was saying about needing to be in the middle of the pack, but her husband seems to be ignoring her advice straight away by talking over her. Jeremy is laid-back and likeable and seems to have prepared well. And being a firefighter means he has an instant connection with the Nale boys.
The better half: Val

Josh & Reed - Broadway gay couple

Supposedly these two are both big fans, but Josh's strategy seems to be to sing his way to the end. Reed is a bit more focused, and already has an idea of how to play, wanting to adopt a behind-the-scenes role.
The better half: Reed

Jon & Jaclyn - College sweethearts

Surprisingly, they're not bland! Jaclyn is very quirky although I sense she could be overwhelmed by the conditions. Jon is kinda funny and I like that he's taking the game as it comes. He's talked about putting together a couples alliance if they get to the merge. I think Jon has all the makings of a winner.
The better half: Jon

Natalie & Nadiya - Sri Lankan Twins

Anyone who watches The Amazing Race should already be familiar with the Twinnies, and you either love them or hate them. They're loud, abrasive...but often entertaining in their trainwreck factor. The aforementioned reasons are why I'm not expecting a lot from them, but they're very competitive, so they've got that going for them. Both just want to make the merge and meet up but they'll have a tough time doing even that.
The better half: Um...Nadiya. Why not? It's not like anyone can even tell them apart

R.I.P. Caleb Bankston

I don't normally post much on the off-season, but I thought I'd make an exception here. I just heard the awful and unexpected news that Caleb Bankston from Blood Vs Water has died in a train accident. Whilst it's sad when anybody dies, Caleb was only 26. Plus, he was truly one of the good guys of Survivor. I don't think anyone had a bad word to say about him. Friendly and down-to-Earth, his love for his fiance Colton, who many saw as an unsympathetic figure, was evidence of his big heart. He didn't get a ton of screentime on his season, but he did give us the memorable Brad blindside and didn't conform to the usual gay stereotypes. His family will be in my thoughts.

The ranking of Survivor seasons *updated with s28*

The three tribe twist delivered again, giving us the hilariously catastrophic Brains tribe. The cast was full of characters and people who wanted to play. Idolmania was the only real blot on the season, but the fact that there were so many unexpected blindsides (Garrett's and Sarah's being the most notable) lands this one just outside the top 5, baby.

1. Pearl Islands
2. Cook Islands
3. Heroes Vs Villains
4. Micronesia
5. China
6. Cagayan
7. Vanuatu
8. Nicaragua
9. Philippines
10. Palau
11. Caramoan
12. Blood Vs Water
13. Samoa
14. Tocantins
15. All Stars
16. Exile Island
17. Guatemala
18. Gabon
19. Amazon
20. One World
21. Fiji
22. South Pacific
23. Redemption Island
24. Australia
25. Borneo
26. Africa
27. Marquesas
28. Thailand

Cagayan Episode 13: How To Lose A Million Dollars

Probst kicks the finale off in the studio, which is a break from the norm. We've got four people left vying for the win...2 Brains, 2 Brawn. Each with a very different story.

Tony, the ruthless cop with the blood on his hands and the idols in his pocket.
Woo, the loveable laid-back surfer who just went with the flow.
Kass, the villainous mom who spread chaos wherever she went.
and Spencer, the ultimate underdog who defied the odds many times.

Back from tribal council, Spencer is just as surprised as the audience was that Tony voted for Trish. But Tony says she was too likeable to take to the end, and says the same for Spencer. This is where Tony's bluff about his idol still being active comes in handy, because everyone is assuming he's safe.

A boat approaches the beach, and Kass is shocked to see her husband on it. This surprise family visit makes the ice queen emotional for a change. Tony is disappointed not to see his wife, but his buddy fills him in on how his newborn baby is doing, which makes him cry. Kass outlines her plan to her husband about how she wants to tell the girls on the jury she played this game like a man.

The castaways all get sideline support

The rejuvenated castaways and their loved ones turn up at the next immunity challenge. The loved ones are just there to watch...the actual challenge is to pour water into a shoot using a bucket releasing a key, then unlocking a set of puzzle pieces for you to complete. The challenge gets going and the poles are really creaky, as it turns out. Spencer and Tony do the best job of pouring, whilst Kass hits several setbacks. Tony gets his key first but Spencer makes up time by jumping off his pole instead of climbing down. The puzzle section is a roadblock for all three of the castaways. Eventually Kass gets there, and manages to produce an epic comeback and win immunity. Just when you think you've seen it all, this season pulls out another surprise.

Guess Woo didn't read the rulebook

Spencer feels humiliated to have lost to Kass, but he has one last play left. He tells Tony that it must be a final 2, because Jeff didn't say anything about the winner pleading their case to the jury. He argues that if he is voted out, Tony will be voted out next if he doesn't win immunity, so proposes they throw their votes to Woo. Woo also figures this is a possibility but is confused about what happens if it ties at final 4. "Do we fight for it?" Adorable!

At tribal council, you can tell the jury aren't happy when they hear there was a loved ones visit. They talk about who they want to sit next to, and Jeff basically trashes Woo's game, saying he did nothing. Kass agrees and tells Tony she's taking Woo to the end, which is an "oh snap!" moment for Tony as he realizes what Spencer's saying is right. In the end, Tony doesn't go along with Spencer's plan and votes him out, even though it was probably a good idea for him. In his final words, Spencer says he hopes he can find something positive out of the misery that was Survivor. Cheer up, dude.

Back at camp, we have the most depressing final 3 ever as they know one of them is still going home. Woo and Kass make a final 2 deal, as they both agree it would be stupid to take Tony.

No comeback for Kass this time

The immunity challenge is a giant epic maze, which Probst explains is full of turnstiles.. some that work, some that don't. So it's a luck challenge, basically? Not really, as there's a cog puzzle on the end once you've retrieved all your medallions. We get going and Woo starts following Tony around the course, like he has for much of the game. Both of them get lost, allowing Kass to take the lead. Kass has only one left but is now going for the hard one, allowing Woo and Tony to make it up. Woo has his cogs out first but Kass has made up some time now. Woo beats Kass by a second to win the final immunity!

Tony makes his pitch to Woo to take him to the end, knowing he has his work cut out for him. He argues that Woo can't say he played a loyal game if he votes out Tony. Kass has a better argument...people fucking hate her. But who knows what this crazy stoner is gonna do?

At tribal council, Woo claims to be nervous about his choice whilst Kass hates the loss of control. You can almost hear the "I told you so" coming off Spencer from the jury, when Tony admits he might get voted out just like he said. Probst starts badgering Woo about loyalty, reminding him Tony was loyal to him on the last vote. (You can tell Probst is dreading the possibility of a Kass/Woo final 2). Woo doesn't even answer Probst's last question as he just wants to get to the vote.

The vote comes back and the final member of the jury is... Kass. What the? I'm stunned, and the jury is too. Woo had a guaranteed win in the bag and he just Colby'd himself. Kass says it best in her final words: "Stupid, stupid stupid".

Wooooo! (and Tony)

The final 2 celebrate, and Tony is eternally grateful. Woo calls this his "big power move" that he can show to the jury. Has the guy lost his mind? The breakfast arrives and Tony gets a note telling him to check out a mirror, which he reads in secrecy...some things never change. They talk about how the money would change their lives - Tony needs to provide for his new baby, whereas Woo has a disabled mother and would propose to his girlfriend.

At final tribal council, Tony says he's gonna give the jury the truth this time. Woo says he played this game using the five codes of tae kwon do. Sarah is the first juror up and says the swearing on his badge thing is a huge sticking point for her in regards to Tony, and she might not be able to vote for him because of that. Jeremiah talks about how swearing on your wife is despicable too and questions if he even has a wife, which Tony admits he does.

And you thought you'd seen Trish fired up before...

Jefra and LJ also berate Tony for telling lies, whereas Kass questions Woo's decision to not vote Tony out when he had the chance. Woo tells Kass to her face that she didn't deserve to make it to the end...ouch. Trish is easily the most passionate juror, taking major offence to another thing Tony swore on (his dad's grave). She also points out how she did so much of the work for him in getting him to the end having to put out fires and getting people to trust him again. Asking him bluntly "was it worth it?", he tells her it was.

Spencer goes last and calls Woo a dog obeying his master, telling him he would've respected him more if he took the goat to the end. He then addresses the jury and makes the pitch for Tony to win. The jury make their votes, and whilst Spencer's is no surprise, seeing Tasha write Woo's name down is. But when we get back to the studio, that turns out to be the only vote Woo gets. Tony wins Cagayan by an 8-1 margin. Not so "50/50" after all, huh Woo?

STAR OF THE WEEK: TONY VLACHOS

He earned his title of sole Survivor the hard way, by hustling constantly and never compromising or getting complacent. We all expected the wheels to come off for Tony eventually but they never quite did. And honestly, mindfucking Woo into throwing away a million dollars might be his best move of the whole game.


Reunion wrap-up:

• I'm glad the Kass/Tony relationship perhaps isn't as fractious as it seemed. Sarah still seems bitter though.
• It's refreshing to see that Spencer doesn't believe his own hype. I've always felt he was overrated, truth be told.
• I was feeling a little sorry for Woo as you knew Probst was going to lay into him for his blunder, but it seems like he doesn't care that much so...good for him.
• Way too much time with Tyler Perry. It's cool that he's a fan, but it doesn't mean I like his movies or his contribution to Survivor.
• I'm fine with blood vs water coming back, not too hot on Nicaragua coming back (though at least they're fixing the lack of water challenges), and could they possibly have picked a more goofy name than San Juan Del Sur? It hardly rolls off the tongue.

Cagayan Episode 12: Smear Campaign

It's a rainy night in camp and Spencer wants answers for why Woo and Kass lied to him. Woo reveals he wants to be loyal to Tony since they started the game together (leaving out that he only joined up with Tony after he lost his other allies, but whatever). Woo proves his loyalty to Tony by telling him what went down at the reward, but Tony doesn't reciprocate and says he's not taking Woo to the final 3 as he's too likeable.

Time to get dirty for the reward challenge, which is to transport mud into a bucket using your body. I've always thought this challenge was the most fun to do. Normally the reward is something that allows them to clean up but this time it's a pizza delivery. Woo has the longest hair which he finds is to his benefit. Kass is willing to go face-first, which gets her a funky new hairdo. The challenge ends with them all looking ridiculous. Tony wins and it's so obvious they don't even need to weigh it.

Mud, glorious mud

Tony has picked Trish to share the pizza with him, reaffirming in Kass' mind that they're the tightest couple left. As he's wolfing it down, Tony tells Trish he has both idols, and pretends he can use one at four. Tony also tells Kass that Woo exposed her plans to him, but that he's definitely gonna take her to the end. Well, Chaos Kass decides to blow up Tony's spot by telling Woo what he just said, much to Tony's annoyance. They get into another fight where Tony tells Kass he doesn't speak llama. Tony doesn't want to work with Kass anymore after that, and now she might get voted out for being annoying.

Woo looks heartbroken to learn that Tony sometimes lies

Now that Woo knows Tony planned to betray him, he's starting to rethink what he wants to do in the game. Spencer and Kass propose that they take out Trish, cutting off one of Tony's options. It's a good plan for Spencer, but he still needs immunity.

Method vs madness

The immunity challenge includes a rope puzzle, two levels of staircase building and another puzzle on top of that. Probst claims the first stage is easy, but Tony is the only one to get it quickly and Spencer is left in the dust. Tony continues his lead into the first staircase but Spencer is able to make up some time. Tony works quickly on the slide puzzle but it's hard to tell if it's going anywhere. Spencer catches him up and after taking his time to plan what to do with the puzzle, wins. Now Tony has nowhere to go but to turn on his own.

Trish breaks out the Boston

Trish unloads on Kass once they get back from the challenge, as she knows she was planning to vote her out. She screams at Kass about what a horrible person she is, telling her "I'll rip you apart in 30 seconds". Kass just soaks it all in, talking about how she looks like Skeletor. After that unpleasantness is over, both sides make a play to secure the swing vote.

Tony promises on everything to Woo that Kass is going home, but Woo still doesn't trust him. Woo goes up to Spencer and Kass, telling them that he knows Tony would pick Trish over him and he wants her out. Tony sees this and does all he can to get Woo back on board.

Tony thinks he's playing with a robot

The feistiness from the afternoon spills over into tribal council, with Kass calling Trish a psychobitch for going nuts on her. Trish fires back saying she can't stir stuff up and then play the victim. Tony gets involved too and has a really entertaining meltdown. The jurors all love it, particularly Sarah. Probst asks for Woo's take and he says it's like being part of a dysfunctional family where he's the foreign exchange student. Right before the vote, Tony pulls out both idols and reveals he's not going home.

We get to the vote, and it's between Trish and Kass. Tony plays his idol, even though he doesn't need to. Immediately I wonder why he didn't play it on Trish and even curiouser it appears he voted for her too, and she leaves. Huh? Kass sees her off with the finger and now Tony's in a tough spot. With no immunity to protect him, this is the first time he's been vulnerable in a while. And it means the finale is gonna be wide open.

STAR OF THE WEEK: KASSANDRA MCQUILLEN

I give props to Woo for making a move, but Kass was the catalyst for it and the main source of the drama tonight. She really knows how to push Tony's buttons and can bring out his worst (or for the viewers, best) side.

Cagayan Episode 11: Pain In The Kass

Getting to know the "real" Tony?

Kass has had it with Tony after being left out of the vote again, and compares him to a Mafia boss. Their fight continues into the next morning, after Kass accuses Tony of trash-talking her. Spencer refuses to clear up the misunderstanding as he wants them fighting. A bemused Tony tries to quash it, but Kass is too stubborn. Therefore, Tony reverts to threats, revealing he has the special idol and that if you vote for him, you'll go home.

The reward challenge is to smash down the other team's puzzle, which they will then have to rebuild. Tony does most of the knocking down for the orange team, whereas Spencer and Kass do the work for purple. When it comes to puzzle time, best friends Tasha and Spencer take eachother on. Spencer can't find the piece he wants, giving Tasha a good lead. But with Kass' help, Spencer is able to stage a comeback, winning reward for his team.

A rare challenge win for Kass

Woo's got the moves

Spencer, Kass and Woo arrive at a school on a schoolbus and start handing out book bags. Spencer hates kids, but the experience still melts his icy heart. Woo really comes into his own once they're in the classroom, showing off all kinds of martial arts moves. He also looked pretty good with a basketball, too. Cliff would be proud.

Kass decides it's time to talk strategy and proposes to Spencer and Woo that they work together to flush Tony's idol. Woo seems reluctant, but does promise to consider it. After getting back, Trish is worried they may have got to Woo, so Tony brings him over to ask what they talked about. To his credit, Woo keeps quiet like he said he would. Tony does think it's odd though that Spencer apparently agreed to vote Tasha out, so deduces that Woo is lying to him.

An exhausting challenge, physically and mentally

The next challenge requires people to count items on the other side of the beach and enter the numbers into a wheel to win immunity. Kass takes the longest on the first pass, but gets it wrong. No-one else even attempts it, but when the guesses start, it's wrong guess after wrong guess after wrong guess. Tasha wants to win to tie Kelly Wiglesworth's record as the most dominant female in challenges, but Spencer gets it first and smashes his tile, along with Tasha's dreams. Not that exciting of a challenge, but a great concept.

Tasha confirms the plan to split the vote, and then goes back to camp pretending like she's going home. It doesn't fool Tony though, who thinks she isn't scrambling enough. After Tasha tells her what a bully Tony is, Kass starts to think that Tony might be the Russell of the season and worth keeping around. She talks to Woo, who is surprised at the possible change of plans.

Tasha's not ready to go yet

So immunity-less Tasha opens tribal council by trying to shift the target onto Tony. Tony says he's worried, but claims his alliance is loyal, which gets an interesting reaction from the jury. Probst tries to convince people to flush the idol, but Tony claims he's keeping it out of enemy hands. Kass says there might be a blindside tonight.

...But that turns out not to be the case, as Tasha gets voted out and Tony holds on to his idol(s). Now Spencer is undoubtedly on the bottom of the tribe - but it's a position he knows well.

STAR OF THE WEEK: TONY VLACHOS

Tony's screentime slowed down a bit this week, but his march to the end did not. He's got a really good read on the game and has been able to maintain his control very well. If you're expecting an easy win sitting next to him, you might be disappointed, Kass.