Philippines Episode 11: Money Well Spent

"Are you OK?" Skupin asks Abi. But it's clear the answer is no. Penner and Denise are not getting any more sympathetic towards her though, they're still gonna vote her out next.

Abi goes to get tree mail with Malcolm, where she breaks down, still upset over Denise. They deliver people envelopes, and as Jonathan predicted, it turns out to be the food auction. Denise spends all her money on bacon and pancakes. Mike buys a plate and Jeff tries to take the wine, because Mike doesn't drink. Malcolm buys donuts and Penner bids blind on a plate of chicken. Given the choice between a treat and rice

Lisa bites down

and beans for the camp, Carter takes the selfless option. Abi has been sitting patiently waiting for the advantage to come up and bids all her money before Jeff can even finish the sentence. Her unrelenting focus to stay in the game pays off. The auction ends with Carter buying veal for the whole tribe.

"I'll outplay them"

Abi tries to get an apology out of the group, who refuse, and Penner admits he's winding her up for game-related reasons. Malcolm likens her to a girlfriend who won't leave after you've broken up with her. Finding a private spot, Abi checks her advantage: it's a spot in the last stage of the immunity challenge. Of course, she's telling Malcolm it's an immunity idol, but I doubt anyone will fall for that.

The immunity challenge is here, and Probst tells Abi to read the note. In order to maintain her lie, she reads the "second part" of the note, which is her free pass to the final stage. So, the survivors have to navigate a tricky rope maze, with extra weight added for if they get a quiz question wrong. Lisa ends up with extra weight. Denise does too, but it doesn't prove to be too much of a burden as she ends up the first person to complete the course. Carter launches a huge comeback and goes from last to 2nd. After Skupin and Malcolm finish next, it comes down to Lisa and Penner, with Lisa missing out. The second stage is an even tighter fit, and Penner wins with Carter in second. They both join Abi in the last stage, who manages to untie her knots the fastest. The people on the bench cannot believe what they're seeing, and Abi wins the immunity necklace she desperately needed. And boy, is she happy.

Carnival time: the unthinkable has happened

Sinking feeling: will lightning strike again for Penner?

Back at camp, Malcolm is actually secretly glad Abi is sticking around because he wanted an excuse to get rid of a real threat like Penner (and I suspect he's a sucker for a nice booty, too). The four all agree on the vote, but Lisa goes into moral dilemma mode again because she likes Penner. She blabs the plan to Penner, and he's pretty mad...although Lisa does rightfully bring up that he turned down an alliance with her last episode. Snooze you lose, buddy. She tells him "go do your magic" and he puts on his hat and goes to talk to Skupin. After getting Abi on board to vote off Denise, Mike is now the swing vote. Would flipping again help his chance of winning?

At tribal council, Penner does all but get down on his knees in his plea for Skupin to not vote him out. He claims that Denise or Malcolm will win if they get to the end, a call-out

Curtain call: That's Penner's final bow, folks

those two don't appreciate. The time comes to vote, and Penner loudly yells "Denise!" from the voting booth. But the 3 votes for the therapist are not enough, and Penner gets expelled from the game, with a really fun exit involving him hugging Carter, refusing to hug Abi, and whistling on his way down the path. A showman til the end!


So that's the end of the road for one of Survivor's all-time greats. But this season still has enough good characters to fill the gap he left.

STAR OF THE WEEK: ABI-MARIA GOMES

Wow. If you'd told me a month ago Abi would be a two-time star of the week winner I wouldn't have believed it. But she's really come out fighting after being backed into a corner, and that's exactly what I like to see. Move over, RC!

Philippines Episode 10: Weathering The Storm

Well, so much for Pete being the mastermind. Abi is confused and racking her brain trying to think up a new plan, whilst fallen top dog Pete admits they got complacent. Mike tells Denise and Penner he wants the five who voted for Artis plus Lisa to go to the final 6 together and say "game on". Skupin calls it his biggest move of the game so far and talks about how he wants to gain something in the game he's never really had before now: control.

Make up and move on? I'll drink to that!

"I've never been good at breakups" admits Lisa, who has not severed her ties to Abi and Pete completely. Abi tries to persuade her to swing back, saying she'll be stronger with them but Lisa says she's more comfortable with people who don't yell at her at tribal council. "Fair enough" says Abi, and she knows when to quit.

Carter confuses a manicure with a pedicure

The reward challenge looks a fun one...although why are they still using Tandang and Kalabaw logos? The goal is to have all of your drums flipped over at the same time. The two teams are Carter, Malcolm, Abi and Pete (Red) vs Jonathan, Mike, Lisa and Denise (Yellow). Carter takes on Penner and wins. Skupin pulls a point back after Malcolm screws up. Abi has no clue what she is doing and ends up flipping over one of Lisa's drums to help her win. Pete ties it up against Denise. Final round - it's Malcolm and Skupin again. Malcolm darts back between the first two and luckily for him, Skupin screws up and flips the wrong drum. Red team win! Abi dances in celebration despite doing nothing to earn it.

Cinderella enjoys the high life

The reward winners are treated to a nice spa day. Malcolm just wants to hang out, no strategy talk...all the young people are here and it's time to have fun. But really, it's just because he has no interest in aligning with any of these people, as he tells us in his towel-headed confessional, post-massage. The four of them are all enjoying the day, Carter is feeding Malcolm grapes, Abi feels like a princess and Pete is getting re-fueled in order to take on the next must-win challenge.

Princess Abi starts sharing her experience with the rest of the group after she goes back to camp, and Mike doesn't like how she's bragging about how full she is. She even interrupts Carter when he tries to add his thoughts. Later on, she then claims she's done cooking because she's "going soon anyway". Denise is fed up with her, but knows that her time will soon come.

Malcolm moves to secure a final 4 deal with Mike, Denise and Lisa. They all shake hands and Malcolm seems really committed to it. Lisa would rather go to the final 3 with Penner, but he tells her he doesn't want to promise anything yet because it's too soon. What the Hell? Who turns down alliances on Survivor?

Time for the immunity challenge. Pete gets an out-of-place confessional about how he needs to win, so he probably will. The task is to manoeuvre a buoy along a rope and get it out of the tangled mess first. Penner and Malcolm are the first to secure their spots in the second round. Then Denise, Carter and Skupin. Pete misses out, and the tension is sucked out of the challenge immediately. The next round is a balance beam. Carter crawls on his belly. Penner is struggling. Skupin gets it first, and is joined in the final (water) round by Carter and Denise. Travelling over water, the lead changes several times, but in the end, Carter just about pips Skupin to win immunity.

The new Fabio secures his spot for next week

Carter talks about how fun the challenge was, but Pete is looking pissed. His move is to take down the person that he believes is the biggest threat in the game: Malcolm. He surmises correctly the other six are splitting the vote 3-3 to circumvent Abi's idol, so he wants to blindside Malcolm and take both idols out of the game. It's a solid plan, but Lisa has to decline as she feels like she's already given her word to the others. "But you started the game with us" pouts Abi. Skupin seems to be at least considering it, but as someone who's already done their fair share of flip-flopping, this might be one flop too many. Malcolm is well aware his name is out there and says he plans to feel everybody out at tribal council before deciding whether or not to play his idol.

Even the therapist gives up on Abi

At tribal council, Abi says hi to Artis on the jury, as it's nice to see one of her few friends. She admits to her regret at how she handled the last tribal. Lisa says she forgives her, but needs to play with people who are going to trust her. Denise blasts Abi and calls her unlikeable, leaving her having to hold back tears. After trying to explain to Abi why people don't like her, Abi accuses Denise of trying to manipulate everyone against her. It's actually a shame to see her so down and out, even if she kinda deserves it.

The vote falls 3-3-2, and after Abi plays her idol, the three votes for Pete send him home. He's had a couple of close scrapes but now his time is up. So now Abi is truly alone, but Probst gives her some hope that she can pull it back. Abi walks out of tribal almost forgetting her torch. Well hey, at least she still has it.

STAR OF THE WEEK: ABI-MARIA GOMES

I've always appreciated what Abi brings to the game, even if I wouldn't want to encounter her myself. We saw a much softer side to Abi this week and I hope she takes all the criticism she got on board. Her interactions with Lisa have already improved tenfold.

Philippines Episode 9: Do The Right Thing

The tribe return, minus Jeff Kent, following one of the most last-minute vote-offs ever. "Lisa made a big move to save me" says Mike, who seems almost slightly disbelieving that he's still here. He doesn't regret voting off Jeff though, because he wasn't willing to work with returnees. Penner's plan to unleash the wrath of Abi worked, although it does seem he didn't realize he could've saved Jeff. Malcolm assures Lisa he isn't holding any grudges and it's all part of the game, which lifts a huge weight off her mind.

Making Lisa Smile: Solidarity between the two actors

Penner seems to have Lisa figured out and does a great job of relating to her and what she's going through. This is what a great player does...gets to know people on an individual level. Penner's psychoanalysis is very therapeutic for Lisa, who has been seeking other people's approval her whole life.

Shooting some b-ball outside of the school

Today's reward challenge is designed to get everyone as muddy as possible by making them run an obstacle course and then shoot hoops to finish it off. The teams are divided into old Tandang vs the rest...much like the vote was last episode, hehe! Abi the sit-out queen was not picked. So Skupin and Penner run out first and although Penner falls behind, he pulled up all the bags from the mud himself to make it easier for his teammates. This definitely pays off when Lisa and Pete start struggling for their team, giving them a huge lead on the basketball section  That last ball proves to be tricky, but eventually they land it and get to go on a great reward to see a Filipino village.

Jonathan "Normal" Penner tries to crack the pinata

It's been far too long since we've had a nice, cultural reward like this. The locals are all really happy to see the survivors and some of their interactions are priceless. Jonathan introduces himself and says that in America his name is normal, leading to the kids dubbing him Normal. Malcolm is also enjoying getting a taste of the life he left behind in Micronesia, and realizes how this is so much more fulfilling than pouring drinks. There's a surprising amount of depth to this fratboy. Over dinner we also get a strategy talk and the four of them discuss the plan to flip Skupin or Lisa.

Back at camp, the Tandang target is Penner, once again. Pete wants to keep Mike and Lisa close in order to ensure they don't flip. Abi is making this very difficult as she yells at Lisa for giving information to the other alliance and calls her gullible. But will Lisa really be able to flip when she's been preaching loyalty, loyalty, loyalty?

Slightly lame immunity challenge this week...the object is to balance six balls on their arm at the same time. It's pretty much just a two horse race from the start, with only Pete and Mike able to get the hang of it. When Pete drop his balls, it just becomes a formality for Skupin to win immunity. Artis has a confessional about his relief that Penner didn't win and wanting to relax...hmmm.

Coconut assault!

Abi smashes Mike on the head with a coconut. Not on purpose, but it's probably not the first time he's felt the wrath of Abi. Denise has come up with the idea to target Artis, because they know Abi won't give him the idol. All they need now is the numbers. Penner makes a great pitch to Lisa about storytelling and how it's better for the audience if the good people win. I've always been convinced that the real reason Penner flipped in Cook Islands was because it would make a better story!

Abi has a giant clam

Lisa and Mike are discussing which move to take. It's not just a case of their best shot of progressing, but who they want to play with. "How can we stay loyal to someone not loyal to us?" points out Lisa.

At tribal council, Lisa discusses the verbal beating she took at the last tribal council and, after a little prompting from Jeff, diplomatically points out that Abi wasn't as nice to her as some of the others. Penner and Denise remain hopeful of a power shift. Abi does even more damage by telling Lisa she doesn't fully trust her.

When the votes are read, Penner gets his wish and Artis is sent to the jury by a 5-4 vote. All that build-up about Lisa's decision, and it's Mike who ends up flipping. Guess the evil trio weren't as comfortable as they thought. If you thought Abi was insufferable before, can't wait to see her next week!

STAR OF THE WEEK: JONATHAN PENNER

An honorable mention to Mike Skupin for changing the game, but I couldn't not give Penner a back-to-back star of the week after witnessing him play his ass off. He's so good at managing interpersonal relationships, and his self-aware meta-narrative showed just why he's been brought back twice. Producers love players like this, who know just how to make good TV...because they're doing their job for them.

Philippines Episode 8: Last Innings

Penner points out to Jeff and Carter how they could've got rid of Pete had they just voted his way. Jeff tries to blame wishy-washiness, but he isn't buying it. Penner confronts

Mike and Penner plot their path back to the top

Denise about her vote, and she admits she voted for him and she's playing her own game. Now he knows exactly where he stands..at the bottom, with Skupin. Mike assures him that there are cracks and he's not out of this yet. Hey, you don't need to tell him that. If Penner's going down, he's going down fighting.


So, Jeff wants to break up the trio of Artis, Pete and Abi once the returnees are gone, and Lisa appears to be on board for that. So I guess his move had some merit, at least. He calls Lisa naive...that's it Kent, keep underestimating her. She wants you to.

The reward challenge is retrieving fish traps and then doing a flag puzzle. Split into two teams, the blue team gets old Tandang minus Lisa and plus Carter, and the rest all form the yellow team. Jeff Kent amasses a lead over Abi (well duh), but Carter manages to pull it back for blue. It lasts until Skupin starts struggling, allowing Denise to finish the water section first. Despite Malcolm having a headstart on Artis on the digging, Artis manages to find his mark first. However the lead switches again when puzzle master Penner works better with Jeff than Pete works with Skupin, to give the blue team a nice reward.

Rice is nice, but a cruise would've been better

Back on the beach, Pete is preparing to turn on some of the stronger Kalabaws before Mike. Abi is apparently irritating him just as much as she's irritating everyone else, but he can't vote her out because he knows she'd get no votes in a final three.

On the boat, Penner says he wants to help the four of them plus Carter win the game. Malcolm comments on how Penner seems to be exploiting the good vs evil split for his own gain, and Lisa comments how the evil trio are still in her plans because they've pissed so many people off.

Back on the beach, Lisa lets Mike in on one of her plans...to take out Malcolm. He has the immunity idol and no-one else knows, so it has to be a blindside. Penner approaches and starts mouthing off that he's going to win immunity. He's never done it before, but now's the time.

Flying high: Penner is ecstatic knowing he's still in the game

The challenge involves untying puzzle bags from posts. Fastest three go on to solve it. Abi takes the lead (wtf?) and it turns out to be a very tight race. Pete and Jeff are in front, but after that, pretty much everyone is in contention. With the crucial third spot up for grabs, Penner slides in just ahead of Mike. On the puzzle section, Pete makes a great start, with Jeff not far behind. But slow and steady wins the race and Penner gradually starts to catch up. Despite everyone on the bench quietly rooting against him, Penner wins immunity...which really pisses off Kent.

Nice work, Detective

Penner is smiling because pulling that off when he needed it most is probably the best thing he's ever done. With their safe option now gone, the scrambling begins. Pete is at first hoping for an easy Skupin boot, but Lisa is less enthusiastic. Telling Pete about Malcolm's idol, Pete is shocked, because he trusted the guy. Of course, Malcolm denies everything and manages to dupe Pete. So now for some reason, Pete is targeting Jeff, and Jeff decides to hit back by targeting Pete. Which one is going? I honestly have no idea.

At tribal council, RC looks gorgeous on the jury as you'd expect. Lisa is not dropping her accusations about Malcolm so he decides to pull his idol out and threaten to use it. This stuns pretty much everybody, and Probst asks if anyone else would like to reveal their idol. So Abi does. Why not, right? Continuing the idea of getting it all out in the open, Penner proposes that the six people not in the core Tandang alliance should all vote together. After calling it one of the most entertaining tribal councils ever, Jeff sends them off to vote.

Jeff asks if anyone wants to play an idol, and Malcolm and Abi both decide to roll the dice and hold onto them. The votes come out, and the vote should have been a tie between Jeff and Pete, but a random stray vote for Abi seals Jeff's fate. And the vote reveal that plays over his bitter, Political rant in his final words reveals it was Penner who screwed him over. That's Survivor karma right there!

Fuckin' Democrats

So we're two votes in to the merge and with people playing harder than ever, it's set to be a very unpredictable path. Will Malcolm have to play his idol sooner rather than later? How the Hell did Skupin stay out of the line of fire? Will Carter be even more useless now he has no coattails to ride? And how long can Penner hang on?

STAR OF THE WEEK: JONATHAN PENNER

Penner managed to talk the talk and walk the walk this week, winning immunity and blowing shit up at tribal council. Was his vote for Abi a screw-up or a calculated play?

Philippines Episode 7: Outcast Cast Out

So, Jonathan Penner was surprised that Katie voted for him and demands answers. He says that it's a real eye-opener that "other people are lying in this game, and not just me". I guess the veteran let his guard down. Meanwhile, it's a special day for the other veteran, as it's the day he fell into the fire. "This is brand-new territory...for everyone" says Skupin, who has no more experience handling a merge than anyone else on his tribe.

Yay, now we can start eating eachother!

And a merge it is, as a dude on a boat comes by to give the news. They have 10 minutes to get their stuff together and go to a new beach. Malcolm makes sure to grab his idol that he'd buried, and wraps it up in his clothes. Kalabaw also take the news positively, hoping there's a crack in Tandang (oh boy, they have no idea!). Denise's gameplan: stick with Kalabaw, but also rekindle her alliance with Malcolm.

The boats pull up side by side and everyone gets out for the meet and greet, as well as the customary food. Now that Jeff Kent is on a tribe with Skupin *and* Penner, he's got both returnees in his sights. Skupin is giddy as a schoolboy, and interestingly describes himself as a free agent, revealing how him and RC felt ostracized by the rest of Tandang, and RC is showing no signs of wanting to let that go.

Malcolm goes for a walk with mama

Lisa is doing laundry and stumbles on Malcolm's idol. Malcolm notices it has been moved, and strongly suspects Lisa found it. He takes her off to another part of the beach alone and without even saying anything, she confesses. But he knows she didn't have any ill intentions and decides to promise a final three with her and Denise. Malcolm handled the situation best he could and now he has a new alliance, whether he wanted it or not.

Lisa enjoys her time with Penner most of all, because the fellow actor knows her secret and so she can just be herself around him. Another thing Penner is concerned about is the returning player bullseye, and talks to Mike about it and gets him to open up. RC is 50/50 on flipping and so they consider throwing their lot in with Penner's guys.

Although Penner's guys might have plans of their own. "I don't want a veteran to win!" Jeff is telling everybody. He's very clear on wanting to last longer than Penner. Why didn't you just vote him out instead of Katie, then? Malcolm proposes that Pete, Abi, Artis, Lisa, Denise, Jeff and Carter split their votes on Penner and RC in order to flush the idol and/or remove the outlier. Pete is very enthusiastic about the idea.

Denise's curse is lifted

The first individual immunity challenge of the game is upon us, and there's two necklaces up for grabs: one for a man, one for a woman. They all have a bucket on a rope and all they have to do is stop it from dropping. Penner is struggling almost immediately, but it is Mike and Pete who are the first ones out. This challenge isn't really going the way I expected. Penner is out next, followed by Lisa and Malcolm. A very sweaty RC drops out next...Abi managed to beat her?? In the end, Denise ends up with immunity for the first time. On the men's side, Artis puts in a great showing but can't hold it much longer. It's down to just Jeff and Carter. Why are they carrying on, they're in the same alliance? But eventually, Kent decides to let Carter owe him one and gives the young buck the immunity necklace.

Oh, and the new tribe's name is Dangrayne

The challenge went much better for Pete than it did for RC, but the bikini babe is still confident of gaining a majority alliance tonight. Mike and Jeff Kent have a very productive chat, where Skupin promises he will help him vote out Penner if they side with him tonight. Penner makes it very clear to Jeff that he has his loyalty, and tries to keep them on board. Jeff and Carter find themselves in the swing vote position again. Do they go against Jonathan and possibly find themselves sliding down the totem pole, or do they satisfy that urge to get the veteran out?

Welcome Tandang, this is called tribal council.
It's where you vote people out

At tribal council, Probst points out that they've never had a tribe make it to the merge completely intact before. Although as many of them admit, they're just about ready to start eating their own. Lisa tries to make the argument against siding with Kalabaw, saying anyone flipping to that side will still be bottom anyway and it won't make much of a difference. The tribe pretty much all admit that none of them are entirely sure what's going down, and they all get up to vote.

The voting montage is excellent as we see votes flying in all directions. Abi votes Penner. RC votes Pete, who returns the favour. Penner is also voting Pete and Artis is voting RC. Are you keeping up? When the votes are about to be read, Penner gets nervous and decides to play his idol. It turns out to be the right call as five votes for Penner are canceled out, leaving two on Pete and four on RC. And tonight, four happens to be enough. The glam girl joins the jury and Pete looks very, very relieved.

Now we're talking, that was a great merge episode and I can just tell it's going to be a great merge in general. With so many factions and sub-factions in play, shit is gonna get messy..in a good way. See you next week, where I have no idea who is going home. Penner's scrambled out of scrapes before, he can do it again.

STAR OF THE WEEK: LISA WHELCHEL

Lisa might not be playing a hardcore game, but the sweet old lady is pretty well-positioned and probably won't be a target for a long time. She's got a bit more spring in her step since the merge, and stumbling into a deal with Malcolm was the best thing for her. Penner has predicted she'll make the final three, guess we'll just have to watch this space.

Philippines Episode 6: The Hunger Games

With their numbers dwindling, Kalabaw know they can't afford to go to tribal council again. Especially Katie, who knows she is bottom of the totem pole. The girl lost her whole alliance in one episode last week, that's gotta suck. Katie and Denise talk and they think that Penner has the idol, so maybe it makes sense to go after him.

On Tandang, Artis is complaining that Mike eats too much rice. Pete calls him the most useless player to ever return to Survivor. Harsh, he's not even the most useless player to return to Survivor this season (sorry, Russell).

A groin-grabbingly good contest

The reward challenge is to roll a big ball into a goal on a muddy field. Pete and Carter grapple, as do Lisa and Denise, leaving Penner and Skupin to roll the ball. When Penner gets a hold of Skupin's crotch, it becomes apparent no-one is going anywhere any time soon. It continues at a standstill for an hour, then Carter and Penner try to make a last-gasp burst. When that fails, Penner tries to negotiate a deal. He offers to give Tandang all their rice if they give them the reward. Birthday boy Artis isn't happy with the deal because he wants to win, but Mike decides to go along with it and Jeff calls the challenge off. The challenge designer has to take a good long look at himself that this was allowed to happen.

Artis is pissed he doesn't get a birthday treat

So Kalabaw get a picnic at the beach. Brownies, big sandwiches...looks delicious. Enjoy the meal guys, it might be the last one you get for a while. They also get letters from home. Man, I bet if the other tribe knew that was at stake, they would've put up more of a fight at the negotiation.

The mood at Tandang is pretty low and it quickly becomes apparent the extra rice isn't enough to placate them. Artis is seething and can't even talk to Mike in case he says something he'll regret. He also blasts RC for being Mike's lapdog. RC is playing the victim again, saying that the Pete/Artis/Abi trio are being nasty to her. Mike doesn't really understand what he did wrong. Oh dear.

Stingray doesn't wanna play

So, as per the deal, Jonathan sets out to catch some fish for them. Remember Cook Islands? This guy is a great fisherman. But despite all his confidence and optimism it doesn't seem to go as well as he'd hoped. He dances with a stingray but fails to catch it. When he does bring in the fish, his haul is so small that Jeff Kent laughs at him. Katie and Carter are starting to get restless with the lack of food. But it's good that we've got some real survival problems in a modern-day season...we don't see these often enough.

Abi acting as cheerleader once again

At the immunity challenge, Abi takes her usual seat on the bench. She wouldn't have even had to run for this one because there's a slingshot involved. Denise and Lisa are firing balls at their tribe members to catch. Penner scores to put Kalabaw in the lead, but Pete and RC give Tandang the edge on the second round. Jeff Kent scores a couple to make it 4-2 and take his tribe one point from victory. Sensing defeat, Mike imparts some wisdom from the sidelines, telling Lisa to aim at Malcolm, and this switch up in tactics produces spectacular results as he gets them back into the challenge. Carter is getting trampled so they switch him with Jeff. He normally looks pretty spacey, but this challenge he's even more so. The lack of energy must be getting to him. Malcolm secures victory for Tandang in another topsy turvy battle. And to think he was only playing because he beat Mike at rock/paper/scissors.

Jeff Kent is eager to go back to his original plan and pushes for a Penner blindside. They know that if they don't take the opportunity to vote him out now, there might not be another one. But there are good things about keeping the veteran around too as Carter points out, like the fact he makes for a great shield. In a hilarious freudian slip, Carter asks Penner whether it should be "Katie or Penner?" I think that might just be Carter's best contribution to the season so far. Katie is suspicious when Penner tells her the vote is for Denise and she is on board to "get him the fuck outta here". The decision is now on Jeff and Carter and which way they want to swing.

At tribal council, Denise says she feels vulnerable being new girl on the block. It's worth noting that so far she has attended EVERY SINGLE TRIBAL COUNCIL IN THE GAME.

"This game sucks, Jeff" - Other Jeff

Katie also feels vulnerable because she put in another poor challenge performance. Probst asks Jonathan why he doesn't feel vulnerable and he says he doesn't want to give them a reason to take him out. The tribe all admit it's going to be a blindside because they're too chicken..sorry, smart...to tell someone to their face they're voting them out. Jonathan says if it's him getting bamboozled, he'll respect the gameplay.

So, the tribe get ready to, in Penner's words, "give someone the message loud and clear". Penner holds on to his idol, and when he sees his name comes up, I'm sure for a second he thought they'd got him. But nope, Katie is the one who gets voted out. No real surprise. So...next week - probably a merge? I hope so, seems like the only way those guys in yellow are gonna get to see tribal council.

STAR OF THE WEEK: JONATHAN PENNER

For thinking outside the box and engineering a crafty deal that not only benefited the tribe, but played to his strengths personally by placing more emphasis on himself as the provider. Jonathan has seemed a little superfluous so far being stuck on the pointless tribe, but finally we have the old Penner back.

Philippines Episode 5: Dana's Choice

Yay for small victories!

It's a cold night over on Matsing, and the last two left speculate on what is coming next. Knowing they might be absorbed, Malcolm and Denise decide to have one last look for the idol. After combing over the rice barrel again, it looks like they're gonna miss it - but Malcolm grabs it and takes it for himself. Some leverage at last!

The 14 players left arrive at the challenge (a reward challenge, for once!), and Jeff tells Malcolm and Denise to drop their buffs. Yep, Matsing is no more at last, and Malcolm doesn't seem sorry to see them go...he spits on his buff after taking it off. The two draw for new tribes: Malcolm picks yellow, Denise picks red. Tandang react the happier tribe, not surprising given their physical advantage.

Artis is king of the ring

Anyway, the challenge is simple enough - two people in a ring, trying to knock over eachother's statue. Jeff beats Malcolm to take the first point. Artis takes on Dana in the biggest mismatch of the round and obviously wins. Katie beats Lisa, and Skupin manages to pull off a slick move to beat Penner, which is to toss his statue in the air and go all-out. Which is exactly what Denise does to win the next point against RC. Pete beats Carter, and Abi beats Dawson, despite Dawson grabbing her hair. "Don't play like a bitch" she says. It comes down to Malcolm and Jeff, and Malcolm copies Mike's trick to take home the snacks for his new tribe.

Malcolm is making a big impression already, starting fire, bonding with his teammates. Pete in particular seems very taken with his new bro-dude. RC is disappointed, because she knows she would've had a better chance at digging herself out of her hole had it been Denise. Pete is very forthcoming with the info to Malcolm, even telling him that him and Abi have an immunity idol. He wants to get rid of Skupin who has been annoying him, and with an extra guy, he's now expendable.

Can't believe I went a whole week
without a gratuitous RC shot

It looks like neither of the former Matsing are gonna be in trouble. Over on Kalabaw, Katie is thinking of trying to get Denise on her side and do a girl power thing. Shortly after saying this though, it becomes clear that Dana's condition is rapidly deteriorating and she may have to leave the game. Jonathan tells Dana to get naked - Sorry Penner, she doesn't swing that way!

Dana hits a low point

So Jeff Probst visits camp, causing Dawson to have a fangirl orgasm, and tells Dana that the medic is leaving the final decision with her, as her condition is not life-threatening, but she's clearly in a lot of pain. Dana decides she's had enough, and says goodbye to the whole tribe. She's in tears, and so are all the girls. Penner gets flashbacks to Micronesia. So as Dana leaves by boat, Katie reflects on how it affects her game - negatively, of course.

So now we proceed to the immunity challenge, which seems a little absurd to me, as I didn't think their schedule allowed for two boots in an episode. There was a little scene right before Probst's explanation where a massive fly flew right into RC's and Pete's faces, which was hilarious and I can't believe they kept it in. The challenge is a proper Army-style assault course, and everyone is taking part except perpetual sit-out Abi. Carter leaps over the ditch and makes great time, but is held back by the rest of his tribe, particularly Katie, who is already being hounded by Probst for doing terrible. When it comes to the drawbridge, Carter and Denise are able to pull it back for Kalabaw against RC and Artis. Malcolm manages to do the chopping section faster than Jeff Kent, who tires out and has to have Penner finish it off. On the puzzle, Dawson and Penner look to be working against eachother rather than with eachother...and as a result, Tandang win immunity by seconds!

The blame has to fall on the two girls who screwed up the challenge - Dawson and Katie. Dawson reassures Katie but provides no comfort on her challenge performance, telling her outright she sucked. After Jeff Kent helps swing Denise over to be the guys' 4th, it becomes apparent it'll be one of them, but who? Jeff Kent has picked up on Dawson talking about baseball a lot to make him squirm and may use that as a reason to get rid of her.

At tribal council, they talk about the impact that Dana's medevac left on the game. Dawson calls her the heart of the tribe and Penner says he doubts they would even be here if they'd had a fully-fit Dana competing. So the question of Katie's performance comes up again, and she owns up to her suckitude but hopes she's done enough elsewhere to be safe. We'll find out soon if she is.

Dawson gives Probst the look of love

The votes come back and poor Dawson gets blindsided...seems she thought they were voting out Denise. After a very sad torch snuff, Dawson lingers for a while. Will she rat out Jeff Kent? No, it seems she was just after a hug from Jeff Probst. Her little crush on him was adorable and one of the best subplots of the episode.

I'm gonna miss Dawson, she seemed like she had the potential to be really fun. In her final words, she vows to make Jeff Kent buy her a motorcycle if he wins. So, down to twelve now, and that episode really threw a wrench in Kalabaw. Can they pull it back? Will Malcolm and Denise be able to integrate themselves in their new tribes? And when does the jury start?

STAR OF THE WEEK: MALCOLM FREBERG

Look at him, decked out in his new colors! Everyone on Tandang wants Malcolm to be their best friend right now, and he has options out the wazoo. Can't wait until he re-teams with Denise at the merge and they compare notes.