South Pacific Episode 7: The Sacrifice

Three tribal councils, and three meltdowns for Brandon. Rick expresses to Coach his concerns that Brandon could be a liability if he has another blow-up after the merge. Come on, if they were going to get rid of Brandon, they would've done it by now. He's going to get taken to the end, because he can't win.

If Mikayla's so good at challenges, why isn't she acing this?

The duel involves constructing a bridge out of planks, and then using the planks in a puzzle. It's pretty close between the two girls, but Christine finishes her bridge first. Mikayla thinks she has the puzzle first, but she's wrong. Christine gets it, sends Mikayla home in tears, and can't quite believe it.

Ozzy tells Cochran he has a plan to ask his tribe to vote him out if they lose the next challenge, so that he can beat Christine in a duel. This ignores the fact that Christine would probably flip anyway. Cochran approves of the plan, which is no surprise - the kid probably can't believe his luck!

That old familiar sight

Coach does some martial arts on the beach and says a prayer. The tribe is split so he needs the idol to bring them back together again. Sophie points out the hypocrisy in praying for an idol he knows he already has. Just how far is Coach willing to bend the truth and still claim to be an honorable man? Anyway, Sophie and Coach retrieve the tree mail about the challenge, which says the best pair will win. (Best pair? That would be Semhar's, right?) On their way back, they let it be known they have the idol. Brandon says he loves having God on their tribe, and I don't think he means Coach.

Ozzy tantrums are becoming a recurring thing

I liked the matching war paint in the challenge, especially Brandon getting a painted-on bra to match Edna's. The challenge is a tough one, which involves navigating a rope course blindfolded. Rick is the caller and yet still barely speaks. Edna gives a decent account of herself in the challenge despite banging her head. It remains a close one all the way through, until Cochran screws up the ropes, getting Ozzy frustrated. Albert and Sophie match up the masks to give Upolu a victory and another prayer session. Ozzy flips out and kicks a wall. Whoa.

Upolu go to the cinema for a night at the movies. Is being forced to watch an Adam Sandler movie the worst "reward" ever? I said the same thing about "Gulliver's Travels" in Nicaragua. If anything, it should've been the losing tribe that had to watch it. At any rate, it seemed like a fun bonding experience, even though it proved Coach should never be a film critic.

Upolu at the movies!

Ozzy gives Cochran a lot of heat for the challenge, who claims he feels awful. A few of them get it into their heads that Cochran should be the one to go to Redemption Island in order to literally redeem himself. Cochran says he doesn't really feel the need to be the hero, as he doesn't want to go.

Luckily, Ozzy does want to be the hero, and tells the rest of the tribe to vote him out following a dream he had. Yes, really. Keith and Jim have reservations, particularly as if the assumption that a merge is soon is wrong, they're stuck on a tribe that has Dawn as their 3rd guy and Cochran as their 4th guy.

Cochran's idea of staying strong: not crying when you screw up

Probst runs scenarios through with Ozzy at tribal, possibly trying to make him understand how this could end up with him looking very stupid. The move is based on a lot of assumptions, probably good ones, but I would never assume anything on Survivor. Hell, if I were the producers I'd probably delay the merge just to teach them a lesson. Ozzy leaves his idol with Cochran of all people, and departs to Redemption Island enthusiastically. Man, Cochran is the luckiest son of a bitch in the world.

Is Ozzy's plan going to work? It's certainly risky, and will have to rely on better acting ability than he displayed in his last scene with Christine.

STAR OF THE WEEK: OZZY LUSTH

I'm not really an Ozzy fan, but I enjoyed him in this episode. I don't think his plan is a good idea. I think it's a pointless risk, and he's doing it for attention and to make good television. But, I kinda have to thank him for it, because it's a bold, noble move that makes things more interesting.

South Pacific Episode 6: Ozzy On The Outs

So what was the aftermath of the Elyse blindside? Ozzy whines like a little bitch, of course. He refers to himself as a free agent and, in a heated moment, tells everyone he has the idol. So then he basically admits he doesn't care when he gets voted out and is hoping to just run the table at Redemption Island. The next morning, the tribe discuss what a child Ozzy is being, whilst he continues his same strategy of providing. Sorry, but catching fish doesn't get you a million!

Idol hunting is in your DNA

Brandon finds an idol clue and goes on an idol hunt with Coach and Albert, who awkwardly watch him scramble, knowing his efforts are futile. Coach points out the similarities between Brandon and Russell in how they walk, and Russell even appears on screen. Well, they found a way to get him into this season somehow!

Hot shot: should you bet on black?

At the duel, Christine is very emotional. You can tell Redemption Island is breaking her down. It's a game of shuffleboard and Christine misses her first shot completely. She's gonna have to get her head back in the game if she wants to stay. Rick offers some words of encouragement from the sidelines and Christine's response is to flip him off. In the end, Elyse blows it when she accidentally knocks off one of her own pucks and is unable to recover. Christine wins her 4th duel. The parallels with Matt Elrod are piling up. It feels weird seeing Elyse go home so soon. I bet she thought she was just going to ride coattails to the end.

Upolu now realise Christine will flip on them in an instant and begin hoping for her to lose. Edna brings Coach a coconut, causing him to proclaim his love for her, and reassure her that she's not the next one going home.

Edna working that social game

The next day, Ozzy has calmed down and realises he probably shouldn't have told everyone about the idol. Oh well. He apologizes for being a jerk, and Jim says he still wants to keep Ozzy around because not only does he win challenges pre-merge, he's a bigger target than him post-merge.

Strategic mastermind, challenge star - what CAN'T he do?

The challenge is an unusual wheelbarrow/slingshot combination. Edna sits out again. Upolu race into a huge lead when Ozzy runs the wheelbarrow into a post. On the shooting portion, Albert becomes Upolu's top shot, with Coach and Mikayla struggling. Coach asks Mikayla to sit out, because her one-handed strategy isn't working, but she refuses. Savaii come from behind with Jim as their top shot, for a win that re-unifies the tribe. At the reward, by a waterfall, Ozzy proclaims he wants to see these six go to the top.

Rick considers actually doing something for once

Albert is pushing for Edna to go, as a physical liability. Brandon's target is Mikayla but apparently only because he gave his word. He actually - stop the press - prefers her to Edna now. Coach doesn't want to lose Edna, and Albert rightly suspects it's because Edna is loyal first and foremost to him. Rick finds himself the swing vote, which is interesting, given he's been easily the most irrelevant person in the game up to this point.

Coach and Albert make their arguments at tribal council. "Loyalty can be faked...strength can't" says Albert, once again one of the best speakers. Brandon opens his big mouth again saying he doesn't think there's any other option but to vote out Mikayla. Edna and Mikayla take pot shots at eachother with their votes, but it's Edna who wins out. Good! I was off the Mikayla train as soon as she turned into a whiny, deluded, entitled snob.

So, did Rick make the right choice? What does the future hold for the Upolu alliances now that a division has emerged? And will Edna be able to keep up in the most crucial challenge yet, next week? Gonna have to wait and see!

STAR OF THE WEEK: EDNA MA

Seriously, she's just awesome! Yes, she follows Coach around like a lap dog, but it has a strategical purpose, and you have to play the hand you're dealt. She may be outside the 5 at the moment, but a few more coconut hunts and massages and she'll be Coach's main ally before you know it.

South Pacific Episode 5: Breaking Benjamin

Reunited with her pal, Stacey is cracking one-liners and threatening to stir the pot at the duel. Oh, I'll miss this girl if she leaves. Coach sends Albert and Mikayla to the duel expecting them to come back with good news. He'd be wrong.

Dawn is shocked that her fellow weight-lifter was voted out. Whitney is not. Stacey tells them that Benjamin and Albert are running the show. She refuses to call him "Coach". The duel involves dropping balls in chutes and catching them again like in the final three challenge of Tocantins. Christine is more calculated and nervous, whereas Stacey is reckless and no-nonsense. Albert isn't impressed, but Stacey looks to be doing well at first, whereas Christine almost drops twice. They get up to three balls and it is Stacey who drops first. Oh well, at least she did some damage on her way out.

Albert (finally getting a confessional!) says he's pissed that his attempts to stay UTR have been ruined and he knows Coach is going to be pissed too. Coach claims he would be mad if anyone called him Benjamin to his face, and now he's worried he'll be Savaii's first target after the merge.

Pretty girl sitting pretty

Elyse admits she's riding the coattails of her hammock buddy Ozzy. Cochran is hard at work collecting firewood, like the little engine that could. Ozzy asks Cochran how his name is spelled and Cochran tells him that he won't have to spell his name anytime soon. When the duel observers come back with the news, Ozzy makes a comment that Jim doesn't like about how Coach should get rid of Albert before the merge. This makes him wary that Ozzy might come after him, and is all the ammo he needs to get Keith on his side.

Albert's failed idol hunt

Albert finds an idol clue, telling him it's by the ocean and in a tree. Thinking he needs a little help, Albert tells Sophie and Coach about it and they all look. Coach prays for an idol and he gets it! Why didn't Albert just keep looking on his own? They're not that hard to find.

Cochran goes for his first fishing trip with Ozzy. He comments on how Ozzy is not the hero you see on TV, he's actually kind of lazy and kind of a jerk.

Mouth-to-mouth: Keith & Dawn get to know eachother

The tribes come in and look at the pigs set up for the challenge. Jim and Rick have big reactions. The challenge is to bite off as much as they can and put it in the bucket. Keith and Dawn share a kiss and so do Coach and Edna. Mikayla picks up a scrap Rick left on the floor. Man, this challenge is gross but awesome. Jim takes a huge piece at the end, but is it enough? Coach does a drumroll on Sophie's back. Jeff does the weigh-in and Upolu win by 2 ounces. Another close call between two of the most evenly-matched tribes in Survivor history. They get to keep the meat too which Brandon cooks.

Cochran makes a herpes joke which goes down like a lead balloon. When Jim proposes his plan, Keith is scared about betraying Ozzy who was his first alliance. He discusses with Whitney what they should do, seeing as they're the swing votes. They still want Ozzy in their alliance but they don't want Elyse around. Maybe Jim jumped the gun when he told Cochran he's 100% not going home.

Keith and Whitney debate what to do

Elyse and Ozzy go to tribal thinking it's a done deal that Cochran is going and everyone's on board. Oh boy. The tribe assess the damage from the last challenge - nearly everyone has scraped a tooth or dislocated their jaw. Cochran gets shat on at tribal

Blindside imminent

council some more with Elyse even suggesting he'll enjoy it on Redemption Island. Ozzy votes for "COCH-TRAIN", not his first douchey vote. As the votes are read, there are a lot of surprised faces. First Elyse and Ozzy, when her name comes up and then Dawn when she picks up votes. Turns out Keith and Whitney chickened out and sat on the fence. Lame! Who's going to trust them now?

But let's not complain too much - the game changed up, Ozzy got his just desserts, the least interesting alliance is broken, and Christine finally has a challenge on Redemption Island.

STAR OF THE WEEK: BENJAMIN "COACH" WADE

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Benj...err, Coach's day went from very bad to very good when he found the hidden immunity idol. His tribe is in the driver's seat and he can taste the victory! But seriously, his mom calls him Coach?

South Pacific Episode 4: Load Off Your Mind

Ozzy and Elyse are swinging in the hammock, whilst Jim gets jealous. He senses that the two of them are close, so proposes to Cochran that they get rid of Elyse...which is good news to the nerd. Is Jim really turning on his own alliance so quickly? Wow.

Brandon apologizes to Mikayla, and then blabs to Edna about the majority alliance. What an awful player. Not content with sinking himself, he's also sinking his allies too.

Keith gets to grips with Whitney

Bathing suits arrive in treemail and Dawn feels out of place among all the hot bikini babes. She says she has to prove she's not the weakest. Jim leaves for the duel with his new partner-in-crime Cochran, which is a relief to mellow Ozzy, bored of all his strategy talk. This rubs Dawn up the wrong way for some reason, as she's convinced Ozzy is only pretending not to be strategic. Does she not remember his first two seasons?

At the duel, Brandon apologises to Christine and Papa Bear tells Upolu he's switching to them if he gets back in. The challenge is to toss beanbags onto barrels. Christine gets off to a flying start with 4 great shots from the off. Papa Bear eventually catches up and it comes down to the last bag. Christine gets it, and Papa Bear departs amicably, happy that he has lived his dream of playing the game.

"See you in the big apple" says Christine

Edna walks all over Coach

With Brandon's news fresh on her mind, and knowing she has no physical game, Edna begins overcompensating in the social game. It achieves the exact opposite of the intended effect, as Mikayla appears to like her less for asking so many questions, and Stacey mocks her annoying laugh. It was funny to see, but Edna is still endearing to me.

Cochran talks to Dawn, and gets her on board with the plan to vote for Elyse. Maybe now he's finally going to prove his worth as a strategist. The superfan has played a surprisingly poor game so far.

Crazy face!

The challenge involves holding weight on your shoulders. Two men and one woman each. Savaii choose Keith, Jim and Dawn. Upolu choose Albert, Brandon and Stacey. Keith is the first to drop. Surprisingly, Albert goes next. Looks like he just lost his footing. That has dealt a huge blow to Upolu's chances, having him out so early. Jim and Brandon manage to beat the weight record set by Rupert, J.T. and Brendan before dropping out.

It comes down to the two ladies. Stacey and Dawn, with Stacey balancing the pole on her butt. Savaii shout at Dawn to dig deep, and she wins the challenge for them when Stacey drops it. She is crowned the hero by her tribe.

Stacey is aware that despite her effort in the challenge, it still might be her going home. "It could be me, it could not be me. I could be blindsided, that's what a blindside is." Actually, that's not what a blindside is. A blindside is when you don't see it coming.

Edna is uncomfortable, as she fears the tribe may be looking for the weakest link. Stacey decides to stir things up by telling Brandon that Mikayla, Sophie and Albert have a secret alliance. He runs and tells Coach, who snaps at him for believing somebody "on death row".

Rick contributes nothing

In a clear attempt at shit-stirring, Jeff makes everyone at tribal council say what is the most annoying thing about another person. Rick says that Albert snores. He admits it's a lame answer, but at least they gave him a line. Edna says that Stacey doesn't open up, a claim she denies. Mikayla says that Brandon being Russell's nephew is annoying. Brandon cries as he tries to defend his honour. What a sissy.

Stacey is voted out, and refuses Coach's attempt at a hug, saying "it's not real". She seems confident she'll be back though, and heads to Redemption Island where she'll have to beat her buddy Christine. "I knew it!" yells Christine when Stacey tell her Coach is running the show. A little slow on the upkeep, aren't we?

STAR OF THE WEEK: DAWN MEEHAN

Set out to prove she isn't the weakest, and boy did she do that. I will admit that I cried when I saw her reaction to winning the challenge. She's gunning for Ozzy too, so let's see where that goes.

South Pacific Episode 3: The Famous Five

Christine is now on Redemption Island, somehow surprised at having been voted off. She tells Semhar that Coach is "a pain in the ass". It's nice to see Semhar get a friend at last, but does anyone care who wins this duel? Neither have much of a shot of making it back in.

Stacey and Christine share a thumbs up

Coach goes to the duel with Stacey, wanting Christine to lose. Semhar tells Jeff, and spectating Savaiis Ozzy and Elyse that she felt abandoned by her tribe. Semhar gives a poetry recital before the duel. Even Ozzy looks weirded out by it, and he actually liked her once upon a time. The duel involves holding a statue on the top of a large stick. Much to Coach's dismay, Christine wins. I suppose this was my preferred outcome, as Christine has more potential to cause drama the longer she sticks around.

Brandon isn't proud of what he did at the last tribal, and he admits to the whole tribe he is Russell's nephew. Didn't take long to go from "I will never tell them" to actually doing it. I guess the Hantz family are famous for not being able to keep their mouths shut. Coach reckons telling everyone was a mistake, and I agree.

Not one of the cool kids

Good times for Savaii as Ozzy retrieves another fish. Not for Papa Bear, though. He sits swinging in his hammock, knowing that he's at the bottom of the totem pole, frustrated that he's been unable to connect with the tribe. It's kind of sad to see, as I remember how happy he was on day one.

Ozzy tells Keith he has the idol, because he thinks he can trust him. Cut immediately to Keith telling Whitney what Ozzy just told him. Hmm, maybe that was a mistake. Keith is not happy about Ozzy having the idol because that gives him all the power. So, the seed has been planted for a blindside against their glorious leader somewhere down the line.

Mikayla needs a hug

Mikayla takes Brandon alone and asks him why he doesn't like her. Brandon gets mad and blows up in front of the whole tribe. Even his allies are nervous now, and recognize that he's a loose cannon. Both Mikayla and Brandon cry. My sympathies are with Mikayla though, as she's done nothing wrong. It does look like Brandon is struggling though, particularly with his internal "good vs evil" battle.

So, now we have a water challenge! It's been a while since we've had a decent water challenge. Of course they would bring them back for Ozzy though, that's kind of his thing. The challenge involves running out to grab a board and then having your team reel it back in on a cable.Ozzy goes head-to-head with Brandon on the first run, and Brandon comes out on top. Ozzy's getting no help from his tribe. Dawn does two runs for Savaii and is surprisingly awesome, managing to get back before Albert.

Brandon thanks Jesus

The final showdown is Albert and Ozzy, and Ozzy loses his board, giving Upolu a lead. The next stage of the challenge involves the last two members pulling their banners up to the top with a grappling hook, and them displaying them to make their tribe face. Coach and Edna manage to out-grapple Elyse and Whitney, and finish arranging their banner before the Savaiis even get started. Coach shouts out "you better believe it, baby!", like his Tocantins immunity win. Shades of the old Coach at last.

Jim trashes Papa Bear for his poor performance on the reel, saying he should've been the first one out. Back at camp, it was interesting to see Ozzy defer to Jim for the final decision. Probably a good thing for his game though, the last thing he wants to come off as is as the dictator.

Is that an idol in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Cochran is told he is safe, but they're telling Papa Bear it's him. Unsure if they're telling the truth, Cochran has to resist going into another paranoid scrambling session similar to the one where he dug his own grave last time. Ozzy tells Papa Bear it's Cochran, but Papa Bear is suspicious and starts asking why. He's not convinced, and goes looking for the idol in a last-ditch attempt to save himself, something that does not go unnoticed by Elyse. Unable to find the idol, he decides to fake one, and tell Jim he found it. Will it work?

At tribal council, Papa Bear lets some truths be known. He talks about how he's not one of "the five", and that him, Dawn and Cochran are the outcasts. Jim argues with him over this, despite blatantly knowing it to be the truth. Papa Bear casts his vote for Jim, and likely spewed something venomous doing it too, which we never saw. Unfortunately, everyone votes him out, even his best friend Dawn (though Jim did vote for Cochran as an idol safeguard). He goes to Redemption Island, where his chances do not look good. Maybe Christine does have an outside chance of "pulling a Matt" after all.

STAR OF THE WEEK: MARK "PAPA BEAR" CARUSO

As a rule, I generally don't give this award to people in episodes where they got voted out, but Mark really was the star tonight. He managed to demonstrate some self-awareness and honesty, and his scrambling to save himself was very endearing. I love how he's getting credited as "Papa Bear" on his confessionals now too. What a sweetheart. I'll miss him.

South Pacific Episode 2: The Last Temptation Of Hantz

Semhar is a blubbering mess when she gets to Redemption Island, feeling abandoned by her tribe. She recites some poetry as she goes to sleep on a makeshift bamboo bed. Cochran thanks the tribe for letting him stay, and realizes he has to tone down the paranoia that came out at tribal. Apparently Keith and Ozzy decided to keep Cochran because they think he might be more use on mental puzzles.

It's good to see Coach and Edna becoming friends on Upolu. Coach hasn't forgotten that she was the only one to help him out after the first challenge, so he feels he owes it to her to protect her. This could turn out to be a pretty nice side-alliance for him.

Ozzy doing Ozzy things on an idol hunt

New Cochran is chopping coconuts, and Ozzy goes off looking for the immunity idol. So after climbing around in the trees for a while, he finally finds a suspicious rock, which lo and behold contains an idol. I guess their attempts to make them harder to find this season proved unsuccessful. Ozzy has had an idol before remember, and he's determined that this time he gets to use it to its full potential.

Brandon is determined to play this game with honesty, and feels bad about lying to Coach, so he tells him his true identity. Coach is taken aback, and you can tell it does knock his trust in him...he doesn't want to get burned by a Hantz twice. But he soon realises that Brandon had nothing to gain by telling him, so thinks he's legit.

Jim goes out fishing with Keith and Ozzy and decides to propose that the three of them align - not knowing Keith was planning on asking him the same thing anyway. Whitney and Elyse are his 4th and 5th. He calls it "the 3-2 plan", even though it's not really any different from any other five person alliance.

Pretty sure Brandon is the only one complaining

Brandon and Mikayla go fishing. Mikayla chooses to do so in her underwear, which again aggravates Brandon. It's now his number one objective to get her out of the game. Meanwhile, Christine finds the clue to the hidden idol, although she's unsure of what to do with it yet.

Upolu are eating stuff as they turn up to the challenge. Today's challenge has two parts: unwrapping ribbons from a totem pole, and a moving crate puzzle. The four girls on Upolu do the first part, and do it much smoother and more cohesively than Savaii. But when it comes to the puzzle part of it, Upolu start sitting back and taking their time, and are surprised by Savaii bursting forward and making such quick progress. It's a come-from-behind victory for Savaii! Oof, blowing such a huge lead has gotta hurt.

The comeback kings

Coach has proposed a 3-3 split on Stacey and Christine. He tells his alliance Edna is

On Parvati: "She's screwed many a man"
Coach's response: "That's for sure"

with them, but on a need-to-know basis. Brandon is still continuing his obnoxious crusade against Mikayla, comparing her to Parvati. Even though everyone points out they need her strength, he still tries to rally votes against her and even tells Coach a lie that Stacey and Christine are targeting her. Not even Christine thinks the idea makes any sense, and she's the one on the chopping block.

Coach's alliance has a big huddle, and Christine wonders what they are talking about. Mikayla comes up and Coach asks her from some privacy, before running off when Stacey approaches. Just when you thought the scene couldn't get any more ridiculous, Christine asks Edna who the target is and she says Sophie - which Christine instantly calls out as a lie because Sophie was just in the group huddle with them!

Mikayla's reaction to finding out she's a target

At tribal, Coach puts it all out in the open and declares that he has heard Stacey and Christine are targeting Mikayla tonight. The news comes as a shock to all three people, and Brandon squirms awkwardly as he realises what drama he has caused. Christine seems to blame Coach and spends the next few minutes attacking him. Coach just laughs her off. Eventually, Brandon admits his lie. An extremely convoluted vote sees 1 vote for Sophie, 1 vote for Edna, 3 votes for Stacey and 4 votes for Christine. Christine goes to Redemption Island. Who's temporary now?

There was something pretty funny about watching Christine shake Semhar awake and saying "Hellooo? I'm with you now". I think the icy bitch has more drive and determination to win the duel next week, but maybe the poet will prove me wrong.

STAR OF THE WEEK: BENJAMIN "COACH" WADE

There weren't really many people to choose from this week. What's surprising me about Coach this year is that he has seemed so much more game-savvy than usual. I really do think he's the number one winner's pick at the moment. He's not as entertaining as he was, but his Parvati joke this week was brilliant.

South Pacific Episode 1: Fake It Til You Make It

So, here we are! A new season, and we start with Coach and Ozzy in a helicopter. Already the returnees are eating up screentime? It actually makes sense though, as I thought it was kind of weird how the opening credits to last season never had Rob and Russell.

But...oh! There are 16 other players in the game as well, apparently! John appears to already be bragging about being a Survivor expert. Elyse won me over from her very first giggly confessional, where the Native American says  "I'm hoping somewhere in my ancestral background the spirits will impart some wisdom". Bless.

Christine mocks the Dragon Slayer

The newbies greet a green-shirted Jeff in the Redemption Island arena. There's excitement in the air as the returning players arrive. An unintentionally funny moment occurs when Edna tells Brandon that she hopes it's not Russell..not knowing that he's Russell's nephew. Upon finding out it's Coach and Ozzy...Christine immediately calls them "temporary players". John reveals how excited he is to be in the game, reels off some Survivor stats, and asks Jeff if he could call him "Cochran", because he calls all his favorites by their last name. Jeff gives the veterans eggs to smash, and Ozzy ends up on the red tribe, leaving Coach on the blue tribe.

Right off the bat, Jeff announces there will be a challenge between Ozzy and Coach for reward. As you could predict, Ozzy decimates Coach on the physical portion. It ends with a tricky mental pyramid puzzle, where both of them struggle, until Ozzy asks for encouragement. Ozzy wins the challenge and wins flint for his tribe. He makes sure to credit his teammates for their help, though.

I feel so sorry for Coach as he leaves the arena with only Edna there to comfort him. He's already been bitchslapped by Christine, then he got shown up in a challenge, and now his team won't even walk out with him.

Semhar: A poet and she does know it

On Savaii, Ozzy sees that everyone is expecting him to be the leader. Semhar confesses to being a "spoken word artist" and gives a little poetry recital that Ozzy seems to enjoy. Hope he's not forming another little crush. The tribe then decide to all get in the water and just have fun. It's fun to watch nerdy, insecure Cochran struggle with it. Eventually, Cochran does make his Baywatch-style entrance to the ocean.

Things get easier for Coach and he manages to prove his worth by giving them all tips on shelter construction. He also had a conversation in Russian with Sophie. Who knew? Sophie and Mikayla get the palm leaves and Brandon starts chopping. Christine goes off claiming to look for firewood, but begins a quite blatant search for the immunity idol, which does not go unnoticed. With a selfish attitude like that, she's likely to be out of the game very soon.

Nobody is loving the Savaii group swim more than Jim, as he loves being around the three attractive ladies in their swimwear. He tells everyone he's a science teacher, when he actually sells marijuana. Mark Anthony tells the tribe he's gay and that his nickname is "papa bear". Meanwhile, Dawn is disappointed by Ozzy's lax leadership. She's concerned that they should have a shelter by now.

Mikayla, the temptress

Coach and Mikayla notice some of Brandon's tattoos (not the "Hantz" one, though). Apparently Brandon dislikes Mikayla because she flaunts herself, and he's attracted to her. Seems kind of an odd reason. I personally really like her. The girl can fix a shelter and look good doing it, too.

The first night, Coach is talking with Albert, Sophie, Rick and Brandon and he seizes that opportunity to make it an official alliance. He tells them about the importance of day 1 alliances and how strong they are. Pretty surprising to see Coach does have a strategic game after all. He claims he's here to win and maybe that's not such an impossible reality any more. I'm not sure if I think this is the best alliance for him, though. Rick, a known Coach dissenter, ahead of Edna, someone who actually likes him?

Mark tells Dawn they need to stick together

Dawn is proving to be quite the klutz on Savaii. She knocks out the fire, walks into trees, and needs to be given a pep talk by Ozzy. He does a pretty good job of calming her down and making her feel better. Meanwhile, two of the tribe's weaker members get a moment to shine. Semhar gives the tribe toothbrushes, and Elyse teaches Cochran how to chop a coconut, in what he calls a "true coming-of-age moment". Cochran claims he wants to use his social game to get by, but it appears Ozzy already dislikes him.

Does he really think he can keep his shirt on for 39 days?

Someone who did impress me with their social game is Brandon. He seems much better at it than Russell ever was (like that's hard). And he is proving his worth to the tribe as the chief fisherman. Meanwhile, Sophie demonstrates why she's been called the smartest female player ever by claiming that she has a gut feeling that Brandon is hiding something. Good call.

Time for the first team challenge! We see both tribes' strategy talk session, which is unusual. Anyway, Upolu take the lead in the obstacle course. Cochran is a mess when he gets to the wall. Ozzy makes up some time on the dig, but Rick does a great job on the rope cutting and releases the coconuts first. Both tribes get three shooters: Upolu choose Brandon, Mikayla and Albert. Savaii choose Ozzy, Keith and Semhar (huh?). Semhar is so bad that Mark even asks if they can switch out. Upolu, largely thanks to Mikayla, win the challenge.

UPOLO! UPOLO! Stacey leads the chanting

Jeff tells the tribes that this was the closest challenge he's ever seen and one more coconut would've done it for Savaii. That's unlikely to be any comfort to them. He then explains one of the rule changes for immunity idols. The clue is hidden at camp too, and first they have to find that. Jim goes off on Semhar a little bit. "You feel sorta bad? I feel sorta bad when I'm out of milk".

The victorious Upolu tribe return to camp to start looking for the immunity idol. "It's probably right in my face and I don't even know it" says Stacey. And it turns out...she did brush right over it when she stuck her hand in the right tree and missed it!

"Her body is mesmerizing, but not hypnotizing"

Back at camp, Semhar calls out Jim for yelling at her and making her feel even worse than she already was. It seems Ozzy is pushing for Semhar to stay, which frightens Jim. Jim tips Cochran off that he's in trouble, and after whining about how much he sucks, claims his dream has turned into a nightmare.

At tribal council, it all comes out in the open that the first vote is between Semhar and Cochran. Jim doesn't like how she volunteered and then didn't deliver. Semhar defends herself by saying she thinks having the guts to step up is a positive. Cochran and Semhar have a bit of a debate, and Cochran promises to improve his efforts if he is allowed to stay. The votes come in, and surprisingly everyone votes for Semhar. As she departs to Redemption Island, Ozzy suddenly remembers that he "should've taught her how to make fire". Great, so now the weakest girl in the game has an even tougher road ahead, and this time alone. Thank God for Redemption Island.

STAR OF THE WEEK: JIM RICE

I knew he was my pre-season favorite for a reason. By taking steps to limit Ozzy's power in the tribe, Jim deserves plaudits for stopping this from being a Redemption Island repeat. Plus, he's a quote machine.